In Loving Memory Of My Former Self.

One of my first poems, written at the tender age of 16. It was a time in my life where I felt I had lost everything that made me, me.

The ledge upon which this body rests,
Becomes a refuge upon which she weeps,
And keeps that frozen image of joy
Clutched tightly to her moistened palm.

The muffle of empty conversation
Pulses through creaking boards,
As she remembers a distant time
When she had joined them;
When she knew how to laugh.

In absence she cannot help but calmly dream
Of those greenest eyes
And the softest disposition;
But in reality the beating in her temples,
And her desperation to behold you
Is too much for one soul to bear.

Are those stars up there really heaven?
Because I don't believe they're truly there.
In this dusty room where shadows creep,
When it's so late that it's early,
In this night with little sleep,
I fall deeper underneath.

Gone away without this body to follow,
Gone away into the depths of distant memory;
But never lost or forgotten.
For as long as this weary heart can beat,
You will remain.
I will remain lost in your shadow,
Drifting further from your thoughts
As a fading ribbon of smoke.

Reviews

[ac4st3r]

That's great, I can really feel the emotion there.

My favourite parts:

The muffle of empty conversation
Pulses through creaking boards,
As she remembers a distant time
When she had joined them;
When she knew how to laugh.

and

Are those stars up there really heaven?
Because I don't believe they're truly there.
In this dusty room where shadows creep,
When it's so late that it's early,
In this night with little sleep,
I fall deeper underneath.

[Jaeda]

First, thanks for submitting this. It was a very pure discription of sadness, perfectly fitting.

[JRB]

The death of one's self, become the emotions of life anew, and you have acknowledged this with your silent screams. This was well done nicely put forth.
Jan/Uisiom

[Kris Tate]

OH my goodness, I love this. This is a great example of falling apart. I think you captured the emotion with great words. I don't know how to express it more that. Thank you so much for putting this in my contest.


"Gone away without this body to follow,
Gone away into the depths of distant memory;
But never lost or forgotten.
For as long as this weary heart can beat,
You will remain.
I will remain lost in your shadow,
Drifting further from your thoughts
As a fading ribbon of smoke."

That is possibly my favorite part. You have a very strong written personality. I love the flow and the rhythm of this piece. You so have a fan now.

[Aradie Rain]

That was amazing,
The muffle of empty conversation
Pulses through creaking boards,
As she remembers a distant time
When she had joined them;
When she knew how to laugh.
that is what made me cry, it was so like what i used to be like.