Chapter 7

Chapter 7

A Chapter by Toshita

"Do you believe in love?" The question is asked with a carefully empty voice, clear but quiet in the psychologist's large office. Hoseok looks up from where he's writing on his note pad, glasses sitting on the edge of his nose, the sight pulling a smile from Seokjin before the android resumes watching the trees sway outside the window.

 

It's a miserable day. The wind is blowing hard, whipping everything and anything with the force of its gale as if attempting to outrun the rain. It's wet outside, very wet, the streets completely flooded and void of life as all living creatures take shelter where they may. Large, heavy drops fall from pregnant clouds, the entire sky dark and grey. Almost ominous and foreboding. The thick musk of earth reaches Seokjin's sensitive nose even through the thick glass, the lightning spotlighting the deserted streets, the peace only shattered by the storm.

 

Seokjin absolutely hates it. Hates the rain for making him wince as it pounds against the window similar to bullets from an automatic weapon. Each shot echoes in his mind until it melds in with the slight headache forming from incessant sounds. He hates the way people and androids are forced to flee, how easily the storm takes control of its victimized city. How the thunder roars, demanding submission or how the lightning cackles in glee at the wet mess of its masters. It's a dreary outcome foolishly romanticized by humans, in his opinion. However, he keeps his displeasure at the weather to himself in order to avoid extending their already long session.

 

"Do you?" Hoseok's voice breaks him out of his displeasure long enough to look at the psychologist. As always, the man is the picture of patience, hands clasped together on the notepad with the pen resting beside it, eyes focused on the android, giving him his full and complete attention regardless of his previous task.

 

"I'm not sure." Seokjin shrugs, lifting one hand to follow the racing trail of water down the cold pane with a finger. He can feel Hoseok watching him but ignores him in favour of increasing the temperature of his finger to see if it'll affect the rain, if the rain cares about the warm it's shielded from.

 

When the silence stretches out Hoseok sighs, surrendering in defeat with an amused smile. "I do." The psychologist doesn't elaborate, playing the game. He doesn't know when the game started, only that it was in the early days after his physical awakening. Back when he was new and shiny, memory bursting with the sudden information about the world and everything in and outside it. Back when he felt his knowledge made him superior to the so much fuller humans surrounding him. He was filled with an odd sense of entitlement, letting the fact that he was the first of his kind go to his head, seeing himself above the human equivalence of gold fishes controlling the planet.

 

It started out as an action out of spite. Seokjin was ordered to meet the young psychologist constantly, he didn't like it. Felt it was a waste of his oh so valuable time. He had so much knowledge! He was the smartest thing in any room probably the entire world. So he stayed quiet, only saying the minimal to escape the mundane sessions. It had taken getting to know Hoseok, Taehyung, Jimin, and Namjoon personally for his thinking to change. To realize he was only as smart as his creators wanted him to be. It was a humbling moment but every now and then, the two will continue to play. Trading minimal information back and forth, extending the silence until one of them finally breaks. It's childish but Seokjin can't help the happy burst of pleasure from Hoseok's surrender.

 

Removing his hand from the window pane, the android brings it to his chest, slightly off center, laying his palm flat to feel the hum of his core. Eyes closed, he strains his ears, focuses every sense on the sound, prodding deeper to hear more before picking out what he's listening for. On the other side of the room. It makes him feel empty. "Do I have a heart?" He asks, opening his eyes.

 

"No." The word is spoken softly, kindly but firmly. The entire syllable professional but open, caring but distant, between a client and his patient. The answer leaves him cold although he doesn't understand why. He raises his core temperature, keeping his glowing eyes trained on Hoseok's, watching for any reaction on his otherwise empty face as he chases the chill he has no business feeling. But as always, the human is as blank as he is, the face an almost perfect mask. Except for his eyes. There’s no way to empty them of the genuine curiosity lingering. It’s interesting enough for Seokjin to concede their game.

 

“Do you think we can love?” A curious amusement flashes in the warm eyes but then it’s gone in a flash.

 

“AI’s in general or the pipers?”

 

“Us? Jeonggukie, Yoongi?” Seokjin says, returning his gaze to the outside. “Me?” He whispers just as a sudden gust has the rain battering the window, as if you mock the very words leaving his lips.

 

Hoseok hums but remains silent, gaze sharpening as he analyzes everything about his side profile, but Seokjin stays the same, body and voice remaining impassive, only betrayed by his words. “No. I don’t think any AI can truly love.” Seokjin stares at the psychologist side eyed, eyes glowing once again to hold the returning chill at bay. Hoseok’s voice remains light and kind but his eyes say they pity him. Them. It’s foreign to him, to be on the receiving end of the irritating emotion for the first time. He doesn’t think he likes it. “You can have all the data and lines of code informing you about the emotion, its origins and presence. You know everything the entire human race has learned and collected from the dawn of time, from its molecular composition to the vile and beautiful actions committed in the name of love. You have enough information to simulate the correct responses towards actions performed towards you.”

 

The chill recedes the tiniest bit. “But personally, love is not an algorithm. It is not something that can be felt by the mind purely.” AI’s and all androids can feel a lot of emotions but I don’t think they can truly comprehend the feelings of love with programs alone.” Seokjin decides he really hates that look as the chill returns in full force. Not even manipulating his system helps him now. The emptiness is back and suddenly his chest feels tight. It’s as if an elephant is sitting on it, crushing the steel until the sudden feeling of loss.

 

“But,” Seokjin holds his breath, a useless action since he doesn’t need to breathe. “I think you pipers are different.” Hoseok holds his gaze. “You guys are not human and therefore, are not restricted or aligned to emotions the way we are. I think you are able to love in a way that’s entirely unique to you. And, while love it a human emotion, those feelings are similar but not. They’re unique and different, just as the pipers, and just as the pipers, the feel is just as real and tangible as your class is.”

 

For the first time the entire session, Hoseok breaks his mask, looking years younger as a smile spreads, wide enough for Seokjin to count his teeth. He’s beautiful, the android thinks, returning the gesture with one of his own. The blonde relishes in the way the bright man in front of him banishes the unpleasant feelings, warming him so much and so quickly Seokjin makes a conscious effort to lower his body temperature before he melts into the couch.

 

“I see.” That’s all Seokjin says before turning his attention back to the outside world, the storm seeming a bit less dreary than before.

 

“Is this about Namjoon?” Seokjin shift to face him when Hoseok moves to sit next to him, a cup of his favorite tea in hand signalling the end of their session, and hence their professionalism.

 

“Yes and no.” Taking the tea gratefully, he takes a moment to take in the fruity scent, his senses flooding with the delicious smell of raspberries and herbs. The first sip is perfect, relaxing muscles he’s unaware were tense. “I enjoy Namjoon’s company immensely, especially with Taehyung there. The feeling are mutual I’m sure but I don’t know if I feel as deeply as Namjoon does.”

 

Hoseok nods his head and Seokjin’s grateful the man doesn’t deny his statement right away. “Well, some of the time the depth of feelings aren’t always equal. Sometimes, one half feels more strongly or falls faster than the other. And that’s okay. As long as you’re sure in your emotions and know what you want, then just give it more time. Eventually, you’ll both reach a happy equilibrium.”

 

“Like Taehyung and Chris?” At that Hoseok laughs but there’s no amusement behind it. It’s bitter. He doesn’t like his sunshine to be bitter.

 

“Well no. Not like those two. That’s a situation where Taehyung fell too fast and too hard. I believe Taehyung loves the guy but unfortunately, sometimes love isn’t enough anymore. Sometimes, people just aren’t meant to be.”

 

“Like Jeongguk.” It’s not a question but they both can’t help but be bothered.

 

“Jinnie, you know-”

 

“Jeongguk’s loves the kid, Hobi.” Seokjin interrupts, feeling a sudden rise in irritation. “And you know Taehyung reciprocates.”

 

“Jin, it’s not the same and you know it. That’s not how society works. I’m rooting for them, trust me. It’d be a freaking blessing to be rid of all that sexual tension. But that’s all it can be. That’s not how society works right now, especially with his position as a piper.”

 

“What about Namjoon and I? Don’t our feelings count for anything? What about Yoongi?” Would you give him or Jimin up?”

 

“Jimin’s a human and Yoongi-”

 

Would you?” Seokjin presses, certain his eyes are burning as he fights to control his gravitational field, feeling like swallowing everything around him.

 

It’s silent, unpleasant and heavy with resignation when Hoseok parts his lips and whispers “No.” All of a sudden, the heaviness in the room fades. Seokjin feels bad for pushing but the rules are stupid. Still, Hoseok is upset because of him now, another thing he doesn’t like. Switching his cup to one hand, Seokjin wraps his arm around Hoseok, gently guiding his head until it’s resting in the crook of his neck.

 

“It’s not fair, Jinnie.” The salty smell of Hoseok’s tears alters him of Hoseok’s tears before his soft sniffling does. All Seokjin can do is silently agree, rubbing his arm soothingly before pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

 

It takes a couple minutes but soon Hoseok’s tears stop but he doesn’t remove his face and Seokjin lets him. “Where’s Jeongguk anyway?”

 

“Where do you think?” Seokjin scoffs but can’t stop the fond smile gracing his lips. “Sulking in his room and drawing. The same whenever Taehyung ignores him.”

 

“Cutie.” Hoseok mumbles. Seokjin hums in agreement and lets him pull away with a smile. And just like that, the darkness plaguing their minds fade as they silently watch the storm leaning against one another.

 

 

 

 

The rain falls harder as the clouds encompass the entire sky, spreading darkness, followed by the thunder and lightning twins. Taehyung stands by the balcony, toes stopping right at the edge of the frame, doors open wide allowing him to be in the storm while keep his body inside the penthouse. He takes a deep breath, letting the enticing scent of fresh dirt and clean air flow through him, holding it hostage deep in his lungs until the overhead clap of thunder commands him to release.

 

The storm is right above him, lightning crackling blindingly right before his eyes as the wind runs her hands through his recently dyed hair, rustling the dark brown strands as she brings the cold wetness with her. It's refreshing, he thinks. The way he can focus on the things plaguing him one last time before letting it be swallowed up in the raging storm. It's almost like a cleanse, the wet clinging to his skin soothing the panic stabbing him until he's blissfully empty of anything other than the storm and acceptance.

 

Acceptance of his feelings, of the twin emotion in his prized android. It's been a week, since the night Taehyung sped away, driving as fast as possible from the unfaithfully enticing thoughts, feeling the heavy burden of locking his secrets up, cramming the tiny chest until it's practically bursting at the seams before locking it tight with pads and chains. With his acceptance of his attraction to Jeongguk, Taehyung hides the chest in the deepest and darkest recesses of his heart, out of sight and out of mind.

 

This week has been difficult to say the least. After running away confused and angry, Taehyung called into work the next day, opting to stay and wallow in bed all day. Thankfully it was a Friday so he doesn't feel too bad about taking a sick day, making sure to text Jimin and Hoseok so they don't stop by and interrupt his crisis. Chris had asked if he needed anything before he left for work, surprised since Taehyung never takes a sick day but Taehyung just sent him off with a kiss and smile. He remembers feeling heavy and irrationally upset that Chris didn't even bat an eye at his fake a*s smile, instead kissed his cheek before leaving Taehyung standing in the entry way.

 

By the evening, Taehyung was a bigger mess. The entire day had exhausted him-actually the entire weekend. Majority of the three days was spent unsuccessfully trying to block the voices in his head, the ones coaxing the tiny embers at the bottom of his heart, fanning and cooing until flames started to grow before Taehyung drenched them in water. And yet the voices never stopped, endlessly comparing the blonde to the raven haired. It was absolutely wretched, but more so when Chris started catching on to his grumpy mood, cuddling up to him and indulging him with many kisses. And later that night, Taehyung resolutely kept his focus on the lover in his bed, loving him gently and slowly, spoiling and pampering him for hours. Until the blonde passed out, sated and exhausted.

 

But even all that wasn't enough. All the intimacy did was suffocate him in guilt and self-loathing. Deciding enough is enough, Taehyung sent an email to his father, letting him know he was taking a week-long vacation. Namjoon called, tone worried but Taehyung insisted everything was alright until they hung up. The week was wonderful. Taehyung spoiled Chris by taking him to fancy dinners, out shopping, to movie dates, even to the club where for once they didn't fight over jealousy. The entire week was jam packed with so much Chris and quality time that Taehyung barely had time to think about Jeongguk until the dark hours of the night after Chris fell asleep. Every time Taehyung looked at his phone, his inbox was filled with messages from Jeongguk. He felt bad about ignoring the android but still, after avoiding the sixth call in an hour, he resorted to turning off his phone. But even that was okay. Taehyung was no stranger to crushes. He could control himself and if he doted on his lover more than usual, that's okay too.

 

However, even Taehyung could tell that by the end of the week, Chris was getting a bit annoyed. He started staying out later, working more, sentences more clipped than anything and Taehyung got it. He knows he's probably suffocating him under all the attention but he couldn't bring himself to stop.

 

Another gust of fresh air brings him back to the present, the peace only distracted by the incoming news announcement. With a frown, Taehyung steps back into the warm embrace of his living room, turning up the volume.

 

"..Found dead at the scene… multiple wounds and heavy internal bleeding…"

 

Taehyung watches in shock as the images on the scene show two of his board members, both class SS.

 

"…Police have considered the case closed. Cause of death was determined to be loss of control of the vehicle during manual control."

 

"That's weird." Taehyung mutters, feeling a sudden pit in his stomach as they show the wreckage. The car is totally smashed and destroyed, the front bent and folded over on itself. There's no way anyone could survive that. But it's odd. Taehyung didn't know they knew how to drive, with the SS class thinking it's beneath them, often letting the AI's take care of it especially so things like this didn't happen to the important. Shaking the thought away, Taehyung is quick to call his father, making sure everything is alright. While he may not be close to the two, he knows his father is.

 

"Do you want me to come over?" Taehyung asks.

 

"No, that's okay Tae, You're on vacation. Thank you." Taehyung can hear the shakiness in his voice and it hurts. He hates it when his father is upset, when something causes his favorite dimples to disappear.

 

"Seriously, Daddy. I don't mind. I'd be more than happy to!" He insists, smile at the soft chuckle he always receives when he calls his father daddy like a child.

 

"I'll be alright, Taebear. Seokjin's with me. I'll be alright." Taehyung can’t help but giggle at the sudden shyness lacing his voice, happy his father doesn't have to be alone at a time like this.

 

"If you insist. But I'll be back at work tomorrow so let's go out for lunch, just the two of us?"

 

"Perfect. See you tomorrow son." Taehyung hangs up, feeling a bit better but still unnerved by the situation. It's rare that people die from anything other than old age, maybe an experiment gone wrong or by mishandling a machine if you're a worker. But SS class citizens never die outside of old age. For as long as Taehyung can remember, it's never happened. It's an odd situation for sure but at least it was solved quickly.

 

Feeling a chill from the storm, Taehyung regretfully closes the balcony doors before heading to the kitchen to make lunch. It's only 1pm and unfortunately Chris went into work, even though it's a Sunday. But Taehyung knows how hard the man works so he doesn't dwell on it much. He putters around the kitchen, settling on some soup and sandwiches when he notices some letters stacked between the toaster and wall.

 

"That's an odd location for you." Figuring Chris placed them there in his hurry, Taehyung pulls them out, sorting through them as he eats. There are lots of bills that he quickly glances over until one catches his eye. It's a letter from his bank. Normally he wouldn't think to look at it but then he sees that it's addressed to Chris instead of him. Which is definitely weird. The SS and A classes have their own unique bank that only they can use. The other classes, with the exception of D class, use the general bank downtown. So, with Chris being a B class citizen there's no reason his bank should be in contact with him.

 

Lunch forgotten, Taehyung quickly opens the letter, the knot in his stomach growing with each word.

 

Dear Lord Taehyung Kim and spouse Mr. Chris Riley,

 

We are pleased to inform you, Lord Taehyung, that your spouse has been added your accounts and has been sent his client cards, providing him access to the following accounts, as per your request. Also, as per your request, all bank statements will be addresses to Mr. Riley as well. We wish you a wonderful life ahead of you both and thank you again for your loyalty. Please let us know if we can do anything else.

 

 

Taehyung's eyes widen in disbelief as he reads over the attached papers. Statements from the last couple months to the current activity in his account, eyes almost popping out of his head at the total charges.

 

"What the hell?" He says in total disbelief. He's so confused. He never authorized this and yet, here's the original letter with his stamp on it. Not to mention the 30 thousand dollars' worth of charges to his cards that haven't left his wallet in months except for paying for lunch and their dates over the past week. He takes another look at the statements, recognizing the name of the payee. It's charged to many of his father's hotels and subsequent restaurants.

 

Thinking someone has stolen his identity, Taehyung immediately calls the hotel management center, heart racing and palms so sweaty he can barely hold the phone. 30 thousand isn't a lot for some like Taehyung. It's all pocket change to him but still. He's never been the kind of guy to spend so much money unless it's for a good reason, and never at his father's hotels. He usually stays for free.

 

"Good afternoon, how may I direct your call?" An automated voice calls out.

 

"Hello. This is Taehyung Kim, Class A identification 19848946579. May I please speak to the chain director?" He waits impatiently for the AI on the phone to scan his voice print and citizen ID, nervously chewing his lip and tapping his fingers against the counter, lunch cold and forgotten.

 

After another minute, he hears a click before a familiar voice drifts through the speakers. "Hello Tae, long time no talk." The cheerful voice on the phone greets and Taehyung feels the tight coil loosen at bit at the friendly sound.

 

"Hey Baek, I have a favor. Well more of a problem. Is this a bad time?"

 

"Nah, it's cool. I've always got time for you." Taehyung can't help the giggle that escapes, missing the older man. Baekhyun is a close friend of the family, picked by his father to help him run the entire hotel chain in the west from their hub center. Taehyung has known him since he was in diapers and with the current stress running through him, he's happy to hear a familiar voice.

 

"I've noticed a lot of charges from the hotels to my account. Could you clarify them for me please?"

 

"That's weird. We never charge you. Give me a second." Taehyung waits nervously, playing with some imperfection in the granite counters. "Found it! So yeah because you physically did not stay with us but your spouse did, we charged you 30% of the normal costs. Huh, I didn't know you got married! And I thought we were closer than that." Taehyung can hear the upset in his voice at missing out on such an important event.

 

"It's a misunderstanding, Baek! I'm not married. I think there's been a mix up or someone got a hold of my account information somehow."

 

"S**t, that sucks kiddo. Call your bank and have them send me a requisition and we'll send the money back." Taehyung sighs in relief, voicing his appreciation before calling the bank.

 

After what seems like hours but is realistically more like 30 minutes, Taehyung finally hangs up, satisfied but exhausted. He cancelled all his cards- the new ones set to be picked up in person later in the afternoon, and retracted any outside authorizations until only he is able to change anything. He also requested for a new ID to be assigned to him, asking the bank to make the old one invalid. He also changes the security measures to include his voice, stamp, and ID before any changes or authorizations can be made to his accounts. He also makes sure to clarify that he does not have a spouse and that everything should remain in his name alone, any additional inquiries shut down and denied. The bank promises to take care of everything else to have the money in his account replaced by the end of the day, Monday.

 

Taehyung thinks about call his father but remembering the accident he chooses not to. Happy that everything's been taken care of Taehyung destroys his other cards and goes to his scanner in the home office, placing his old ID face down for the new information to be replaced with the old one and for the AI to take a picture of him, printing it on the new card. Happy with the picture, Taehyung replaces the card in his wallet before taking a long bath, letting the how water wash away all stress and worry from today and the previous week.

 

He finally emerges from the tub after the water turns cold, unplugging the tub and watching the pink glitter from the bath bomb swirl prettily down the drain. He dresses in his favorite sweatshirt, the soft black fabric feeling wonderful against his fresh skin over a pair of ripped blue jeans paired. Satisfied, he goes and makes himself a cup of tea, hissing when the hot water spills onto his hand. He turns wide eyed towards the entrance, startling when the door slams loudly.

 

"F**k!" Chris's voice echoes down the hallway and Taehyung winces at the sudden sound, slowly making his way to the entryway. Leaning against the wall, Taehyung carefully sips his tea, wincing at the heat as he watches his boyfriend storm angrily towards him.

 

"Welcome home baby." Taehyung says, smiling softly, reaching out to pull the angry man into a hug. "Bad day at the office?"

 

Chris groans into his neck, making him giggle at the ticklish feeling. "You have no idea."

 

"What happened?" Taehyung asks, carefully placing his tea down before wrapping both arms around the shorter man.

 

"I think my bank fucked up."

 

"Oh?"

 

"Yeah, my cards stopped working. It was so embarrassing! We we're at a lunch meeting and I looked like an idiot!" Taehyung winces, knowing Chris must be pretty upset over that. Especially since his lunch meetings often involve the A class and his superiors.

 

"Well did it work out?"

 

"Yeah it did. I used a different card but Tae! It was so bad! I thought I was going to die of humiliation!" Chris pouts. Taehyung chuckles at his dramatic boyfriend, smiling widely at the pouty glare he receives in return.

 

"You're not scary at all." He mocks, quickly pressing a sweet kiss to his lips and hugging him tighter when his nose flares, like it does just before he's about to start ranting. Cute.

 

"Whatever. Let's go out for supper tonight."

 

Taehyung starts to say yes but then remembers he didn't pick up his new cards yet. "We can't tonight but we can go tomorrow. I have to return to work but We can go to that fusion place you like?"

 

"Why can't we go tonight?" Chris pouts, pulling back to press sweet little pecks to his lips between each word.

 

"I had some issues with my cards so I cancelled everything." Chris freezes in Taehyung's arms but he continues. "The bank was under the impression that we were married. Isn't that funny?"

 

"Why'd you cancel them?" Chris pulls away, frowning. Taehyung shrugs in confusion but picks up his tea, wincing when he burns his tongue again.

 

"They sent a letter saying you were authorized to change and use my accounts. You have no idea how many ridiculous charges were on the account, especially from the KRJ hotels."

 

"What do you mean?" Chris asks confused.

 

"I never pay to stay or eat there since my family owns the chain, a perk of being Namjoon's son I guess. Anyone related to us-spouses, family, etc., still have to pay unless dad and I are staying with them physically. So I just cut the card and changed all the security measures to make sure it doesn't happen again."

 

"Wait, is that why my cards didn't work?!" Chris all but shouts, startling Taehyung into burning his tongue, again. Taehyung watches wide eyed as the blonde runs a frustrated hand through his hair, glaring at Taehyung. "That's the reason I looked like an idiot?"

 

"What? Wait…did you call and arrange that? Is that why the letter was addressed to you and not me?" Taehyung is so confused. It makes no sense. What reason could he have for that. He can't want to actually get married, does he? Every time Taehyung has brought it up, Chris has shot him down, saying he didn't believe in it and that it was a waste of time and that they didn't need a piece of paper.

 

"Why did you open my mail?" Chris counters back, voice rising in anger.  

"It was from my bank. I thought they made a mistake." Taehyung spits back, upset at the situation. "Why would you do that? I read the letter and I know for a fact I didn't write it. I never would have done that."

 

"Does it matter? It's not like you don't give me your card to spend on s**t anyway. It made sense for us to join our accounts." Chris shrugs.

 

"That's not joining our accounts. You practically committed fraud! On me!"

 

"Oh please. How is that any different from before?"

 

"Because I'm with you when you use my card and for the overly expensive ones they call me for my authorization! You pretty much told them to make sure I don't find out what's happening to my money!"

 

"It's not like it's actually yours." The blonde mocks, lifting a hand to study his nails instead of looking at him.

 

"W-what?" Taehyung stutters, feeling like he's been slapped. 

 

Chris scoffs, crossing him arms the way he does when he's feeling smug. "It's your daddy's money. Not yours."

 

Taehyung has to clench his hands, anger and betrayal constricting his chest. "Are you actually f*****g kidding me? That's what you're jealous of! That money is in a trust fund still under my father's name, not in my account. Everything thing under my name I've earned myself Chris."

 

"You're telling me, that all that money sitting there is just since you started working fulltime?" Chris asks, eyes wide with disbelief, anger forgotten for a moment.  

 

"Yes! I worked hard for everything I've earned!" Taehyung grits out. "I cannot believe you betrayed my trust like that because you're jealous over money!"

 

"Then it shouldn't be an issue if I spend it. It's not like you're going to use it." Taehyung is completely bewildered. It's unbelievable! He doesn't even sound remorseful or embarrassed that he stole from Taehyung. In-f*****g-believable! 

 

"That's not the point! You know I don't mind buying you things! But this is ridiculous! You have a very well-paying job! There's no way you wouldn't be able to afford eating at the restaurants there, especially since you can write them off as a work expense!" Taehyung yells, finally at his tipping point. "And what do you mean. Why are you spending them at hotels? Why are they charging you that much? It's too much for a simple lunch or conference room booking. Unless… you're spending the night there? But we haven't- why would you-" Taehyung cuts himself off, hurt and suspicion coursing through his thoughts. All the late nights claiming long meetings extending until the wee hours of the morning, the sudden weekend trips.

 

"Are-are you cheating on me?" He can barely get the words out, money and fraud forgotten in lieu of the new thoughts plaguing him.

 

"Don't be stupid. Anyway, if the money thing is that big of an issue then fine. I don't actually need it anyway." Chris goes to move past him but Taehyung's hand snaps out, gently gripping his forearm to stop him. He stares into the beautiful green orbs, the ones he dreamt of waking to every morning for the rest of their lives, the ones he's trusted with everything. His heart, body, everything. The ones he can stare into for hours, once providing feelings of love and comfort.

 

But now he can't see anything recognizable. He didn't deny but Taehyung doesn't have any proof. Still, thoughts of his overactive imagination do nothing to ease the hurt. He physically lets go of Chris, forcing his fingers to straighten out before clutching his chest. A sharp pain stabs his chest, stealing his breath at the betrayal. He's gasping, pathetic whimpers leaving his mouth as he slumps against the wall, unable to support his weight under the crippling sense of pain and loss.

 

Black spots dance in his vision, diming his view as he struggles from breath. Vaguely, Taehyung realizes he's having a panic attack but he's unable to stop it. Can only hold on for the ride while it batters and tears him apart from the inside.

 

"Breathe baby, come on! Don't pass out on me! Breathe with me come one!" Panicked green fills his vision but the vibrant color is so dim. His head hurts so much now. All he wants to do is close his eyes and sleep. His eyes close but a sudden jolt wakes him up again. "No, don't fall asleep, just keep breathing. Please baby!" Nodding at the pleading voice, Taehyung forces himself to inhale and exhale deeply, maintaining the pattern until the elephant on his chest eases a bit.

 

"A-are you?" Taehyung doesn't even have the energy to sound angry or accusing. He just stares pitifully, searching Chris's face before his vision is obstructed. Chris holds him tightly to his chest, talking quickly into his hair.

 

"I'm so sorry baby! No of course not! How could you think that! I wasn't thinking! It's okay, you're right. It was wrong of me to assume that and to take advantage of you like that. I don't know what I was thinking. I don't know why. I've just been under a lot of stress. They really are late night meetings so sometimes I just rent a room for a nap before coming home. I promise." Chris apologizes again and again. Taehyung just closes his eyes and slumps in his boyfriend's hold, letting the tears roll. He doesn't say anything, can't say anything.

 

"We-we're okay, right Tae?" Chris sounds shaky but Taehyung is so exhausted, much too drained to care about how he has probably hurt by his accusations. Instead he just nods into his chest, taking in the scent of roses as the muscular body relaxes in relief. "Come on. Today has been pretty stressful for you. Why do we take a bath, hmm? We can use your favorite bath bomb. The one with all the glitter?"

 

Taehyung doesn't say anything. Doesn't say he's already done that. He allows himself to be led to the bathroom and undressed, barely registering the kisses pressed to his skin. He wants to move away from those lips. He wants to move into them but he doesn't. He feels hollow, like a husk tossed aside. But with every loving gesture and word, the emptiness is slowly filled. He believes him. Believes Chris wouldn't do that to him. Not after all these years. And yet as Christ settles behind him and washes his hair, a loud part of his brain protests.

 

Each scenario and situation over the last couple months is brought forth and analyzed. Each phone call and text, each meeting with Chris's fellow teammates and co-workers. Loving words linger on his wet skin as wet lips follow and mark his skin in a claim but Taehyung closes his eyes, barely feeling it as his face remains empty. Each caress eases the shooting pain in his heart but causes him brain to revolt. Taehyung closes his eyes, shutting out everything into the welcoming darkness with one last bitter thought. I don't believe you.




© 2017 Toshita



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Added on April 7, 2017
Last Updated on April 7, 2017
Tags: fanfic, pining, special ops, military, alternative universe-robotics/an, dystopia


Author

Toshita
Toshita

Canada



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Hey, my name is Toshita. I love writing- anything from stories to music. I play the guitar, piano and the trombone. I love reading and photography is also a beloved hobby. Follow me on the social medi.. more..

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