If This Was A Movie

Please tell me honest reviews!

I woke suddenly from sleep, my breath caught as I strain to listen.

I hear the gentle thump, thump, thump as footsteps make it up the stairs.

 I leap out of bed and open the closed door, expecting him to be there with open arms.

Instead I’m staring down a dark and empty stairwell.

Thump, thump, thump.

 

I place a hand on my chest, just my heart.

My broken heart.

 

Memories flood back into my mind, painfully, as I relive these last six months.

  Six months since I’ve felt your arms around me, the whisper of your voice in my ear, and the deep green color of your eyes as you watch me sleep.

 

 I can still smell your aftershave on my pillow, as I lay back down. Before, I would of held it close. Now all I want to do is throw it across the room as the ache in my heart throbs harder.

I can still remember the nights we went out, our friends joking about the two of us but I didn’t care. They just didn’t understand me and you.

Now all I can do is scream at the ceiling for you to come back.

 

 I think of how if this was a movie you would wait outside of my door and sweep me into your arms as the rain came down.

All you had to do was say you’re sorry, we could work it out some how.

But I think.

If this was a movie you’d be here by now.

 

I know how people change and these things happen, but what if we had just work them out.

Would you of stayed or did you just not care anymore.

I remember the night you didn’t call. I paced the hall for hours, not bothering to call anymore because all of my wasted time went straight to voice mail.

 

 I gather the courage to go to your house, not caring whether or not it was the middle of the night. You promised you’d always be there, so where are you?

 

When I reach your front door I’m about to knock but I hear laughter just behind the door. I peek through the window into the living room and see your hands wrapped around a stranger, and just when I seem to of hit rock bottom you pull her close and kiss her.

All while I was standing on your front porch.

 

I race down the street, tears stinging my eyes and all I can remember was the night you said:

“Nothing is going to change not for me and you.”

Now I stand at my bedroom window looking out at the full moon, wishing that you would come back or at least tell me you have moved on. I think of how it could be, but I also think of how you used me, and told me nothing but lies.

 

Even your love feels like poison now every time I remember you.

I don’t know how long I stand there thinking to myself, but I’m jerked back into reality when the door bell rings.

 

I open the door and you stand there with a grin on your face like

nothing has even happened.

 

Tears cloud my vision, but I hold them back, so he won’t see.

He opens his arms wide for me but instead of running to him I slam the door in his face.

 

I lay in my bed crying, only this time I cry for joy because I found the courage to say no to you.

Author's Note

I based this off of Taylor Swift's song 'If This Was A Movie'

Thank you everyone for your reviews! It means a lot to me.

Reviews

[~ Stefanie ~]

First off, i think it is awesome that you came up with this story based off of a song. That is a really neat idea! Secondly, I thought it was well written and I really enojoyed reading it. You did a great job describing and I never lost focus on the story. Well done!

[The XYZ Writer]

Wow. This is pretty cool. And heart-breaking. But *speaks to the girl character*, you GO GIRL!!!

You have a knack for describing emotion Breeze. It's something I can't seem to do. Probably because I've never felt it before........
*smiles through tears* Another job well done.

[Tina Kline]

Great story. It's very liberating when you can finally say no to someone you're still attached to and all they're doing is using you and hurting you. I really enjoyed this tale.

[Wendy Seames Garner]

I'm glad she slammed the door on him! Her are a couple of things you might want to change:

"But I think. If this was a movie you’d be here by now." Delete the but I think, it isn't necessary.

"I know how people change and these things happen, but what if we had just work them out." Try this: I know people change and these things happen, but if only we had just worked them out.

[AK]

I absolutely loved it!

[Archia]

I love the empowerment at the end; how after all that, which really made the reader think she loved him so much, she did say no (which is probably what he deserved). I loved that for this.

[Nisha Ahmed]

Oh my, this is very well written! I love it! Good work, I could literally feel what the girl was feeling throughout the whole story! You got it all: intro, issue, climax and then the resolution with an happy ending. The guy was such an a*s though :/

[13ReasonsWhy]

I love the song!! I love the story!! Amazing!

[Jamie Raintree]

First, I'm a fan of anyone who's a fan of Taylor Swift. ;)

This reminded me of one of her songs! I felt the tugs at my heart with your word choice. Your voice is very personable and relatable. There were some typos and instances of incorrect word usage so I'd have it proofread. Also, you switched between second and third person narrative a couple of times. But even so, it was a really easy and enjoyable read!

[StoryPosterShane]

Amazing! Your descriptive techniques are really good and you really pulled me into the story; like i watching a movie, if it was one of course. And another great technique was the emotional pull you had on the story, to really make me fell how you felt. Great job!