My Day

It was that moment

The one that said it all

How could you do this to me?

The trees curled up

Branches twisted and swayed

The bark of their being dried up

The scream that was let out 

Darkened skies with black and grey

Sun evaporated in to rain

Grass huddled together

The word was too great, 

heavy on its blades of green being

Black ink fills the paper

Not blue or colorful, 

Dark fills the empty lines of talk

It was that day

One where i cursed

small cries from a life 

laid in a blanket, snuggled tightly

i was born

Reviews

[Matthew Kult]

Birth was not my first thought, I would have assumed this was leading into death or possibly a rebirth into something positive and new. But like we talked yesterday, you did your job.

Excellent descriptions and use of words. Great flow. I wouldn't let this one go on just this alone, I would like to see more along these lines.

Always,

Matthew

[Sugar Plum ♥]

lovely, amazing, full of imagination, nature picture and...surprise in the end, which I like so much! thank you for sharing! I loved this expression :
Dark fills the empty lines of talk
~nia~

[State of Grace]

epic poem!

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Love the imagerys you used on birth, very brilliant!

[Kelsie Eileen Stark]

I started out thinking this was about something sad, and you where going to hide somewhere- but I was drastically wrong. Clever job!

[My Fair Lady]

This is one of your best! I was not expecting it to be about birth, but then aren't we "born" a little every time we experience life in a new way.

[Darkbynight]

Mind-blowing awesomeness!
Same as below, I definetly was not thinking birth when I was reading it, but everything began to come together once I read that last line :)

[Dream Weaver]

Nice, very descriptive a flowed pretty easily, I see
your writing is improving, Nice job on this one I loved
the ending!

[Chris]

Mind blown.
I read through thinking how beautiful and clear the image you created was. When I got to the end and realized it was about birth, I had to reread it. My mind was blown apart as the peices of this puzzle fit together so well.

Magnificent.

[Coyote Poetry]

"The scream that was let out
Darkened skies with black and grey
Sun evaporated in to rain"
Strong words and very good description brought me into the poem. I like how you ended the poem. The language and flow of emotion made the poem a pleasure to be able to read. A excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[Vanessa Rico]

When I first started reading this poem, I had not expected the ending. It was very dark. I enjoyed these lines best...
"Black ink fills the paper
Not blue or colorful,
Dark fills the empty lines of talk"

I agree talk can be empty...great job!