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Donald learns that witches are real, and vows to do away with them.

Oh, well...he says the trains will run on time, so f**k the rest...

Melania may regret asking Donald to play Santa for a group of children

A poem containing dozens of animals' names

Two guys do their best to get themselves dates.

My plan for the perfect rest home for old hippies

I want honesty; not my usual fare, just seeing if I can write something in a different style.

Donald has to outdo Obama as he strives to pardon turkeys...but he can't!

Is there something wrong with me?

Donald travels to Guantanamo Bay to visit with his #1 fan, and he has a plan for the place!