Blue Bird, Blue Jay

Two beautiful birds that Ive incorperated into a poem about moving on in life.

 

Blue Bird, Blue Jay

By Dana S.

 

Blue bird

Blue jay

its time to fly away,

sorrow will be left

behind

until another day

Blue bird

Blue jay

its time to move away,

bad memories will drift

away

until another day

Author's Note

This is a very special poem to me, so any feedback you have to make it better is accepted. Thanks!

Reviews

[R. Cygnet]

While reading it, this poem had a tune in my head! It could be a very charming little song. :D It flows very nicely.
One thing though, in the final lines, I think the -ay sound shouldn't be used to end all three lines. But other than that, it's perfect. :)

[Honeypot]

Sorry, I'm not much of a poet myself, but I will tell you that this poem has a wonderful feel too it. The rhyming and flow are great and I don't thinking anything needs to be changed. The repetition of of wording works really well for me.

[Anita B Jacques]

Nice write, What I would do is remove both "until another day", too many "ay". Only my opinion, Thank you for sharing. God Bless you.
Hugs