My human clone (Poem)

My human clone (Poem)

A Poem by Mr.Writer
"

Thunderful...

"
Those thunder-like cries
Coming straight from my eyes
Trying to consume me

My heart, already broken;
leaving my heartbeats to be unspoken
And never heard from again

Darkness approaching my soul
Starting to drill a hole
Changing everything 

Everything around me fading away
Turning into a shade of a grey
Within seconds

My reflection unable to be shown
Instead, showing photocopies of my human clone
As my organisms clash together

The sky shattering apart to the furthest
Its clouds falling onto the surface
Landing straight at me






© 2017 Mr.Writer



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Reviews

great little poem, certainly a connection with the words and very clear imagery :)

Posted 7 Months Ago


Mr.Writer

7 Months Ago

Thank you! :)
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Bre
This is such an emotional poem and I love it.

Posted 10 Months Ago


Mr.Writer

10 Months Ago

Thank you Bre :))
Aloha, this is full of emotion and feels almost frantic in part. A palpable mood creeping through each line. Very well done. Izzy

Posted 1 Year Ago


Mr.Writer

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much Izzy! :)
This is well written in the way it paints the imagery and flows in its musicality (Stanza 5 Line 2 is a tad wordy, though). I also like how only the first two lines of every stanza rhyme, and then the stanzas end in a straggler (what I call ending lines that don't have any rhymes). However, ending the poem with a straggler doesn't sound good in certain occasions. And this occasion, if I may, is one of them. Somehow, the bang advisable in an ending is not met. Well done otherwise!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Mr.Writer

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much Emi for the review and feedback! I really appreciate it!! :)
I kinda agree,.. read more
emipoemi

1 Year Ago

it was my pleasure.
The first line caught my eye and drew me into the poem. it was well written, but perhaps not my genre. Keep writing!!!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Mr.Writer

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much!
You are a Precious Soul...Your Soul is a Bright Light for all to see!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Mr.Writer

1 Year Ago

Umm, thank you? lol
Anastasia Purvis

1 Year Ago

Ummm, you're welcome? heh
This was a great piece, i liked the rhyme scheme you had going on!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Mr.Writer

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much Kesha! :)
Great job I really like it :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


Mr.Writer

1 Year Ago

Thanks so much! :)
I can feel it, expressed it really well

Posted 1 Year Ago


Mr.Writer

1 Year Ago

Thank you Farhan! :)
Another great poem Shaan.
Thanks for sharing this.:)


Posted 1 Year Ago


This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Mr.Writer

1 Year Ago

Thank you Neetha!
No problem :)

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19 Reviews
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Added on June 11, 2017
Last Updated on June 11, 2017

Author

Mr.Writer
Mr.Writer

Toronto, Ontario, Canada



About
First of all... I love to write! It has always been my passion to write since... last year! :D I can easily pour my emotions in writing without telling them to anyone. I love to review people's work.. more..

Writing

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