But when?

But when?

A Poem by Mr.Writer
"

But when...?

"
I need a hope
a reason
to live in this world

I need someone
to hold my hand and tell me
it's going to alright

Someone who could love me;
all life and never
leave me alone

Celebrate every moment
of happiness we get
and cherish it to our fullest

Twirling me around 
on the dance floor
and picking me up when I fall

Doing the simplest things with me
like talking walks around the park
or going shopping with me

Having beautiful children
and deciding on names
for them , together

And at the end of the day
being with me again as we say
how much we appreciate each other









© 2017 Mr.Writer



My Review

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Reviews

Your poem is both heart-warming and heart-wrenching simultaneously! You speak of your wistful dreams with longing and your piece speaks of the things that you do not have, and thus it is why you dream. Your poem speaks that what you need has yet to be filled, and add that to your title "But when?", the result is a beautiful piece filled with the combination of longing and dreaming. It was pretty clever of you to add that title, it completely changes the meaning of the story and the emotions that come with it.

Your passion in your poems are something to commend about! :)

Posted 1 Month Ago


Mr.Writer

1 Month Ago

Thank you so much for the Gwenn for the review and amazing comments!! :)
I rlly appreciate it.. read more
This is simply beautiful!

Posted 1 Month Ago


Mr.Writer

1 Month Ago

Thank you Firemay! :))
It's lovely and beautiful...liked it..
Well penned! :)

Posted 2 Months Ago


Mr.Writer

2 Months Ago

Thank you Sofia! :)
Anyone who joins Silente and his little SJW bully clan will get the same treatment. You will get the same treatment.

Posted 2 Months Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

That's what everybody wishes to have in their life...Very simple and beautiful write.
I loved it.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Mr.Writer

2 Months Ago

Thank you Priyanshi!! :)
This is very beautiful and the sentiment is wonderful.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Mr.Writer

2 Months Ago

Thank you Mae! :)
The companionship feel is deep and well written.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Mr.Writer

2 Months Ago

Thank you! :)
In need of energy...almost everyone at some point in lives need it...It was honest Shaan and I enjoyed it...:)

Posted 2 Months Ago


Mr.Writer

2 Months Ago

Thank you Surya! :)
I thought you're quite young to really think on these lines, Shaan :P lol ;P

Nice read. I agree with Carol, it does read like a prayer...

Btw, it should be 'it's going to be alright' in the 2nd stanza last line...

Well penned.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Mr.Writer

2 Months Ago

Haha I am pretty young to think about it indeed, but it's alright :D
Thank you Yumna!! :)
Closed

2 Months Ago

yeah that's what I think ;p
you're welcome :))
it could be..''it's going to be alright''

and instead of a someone that could love me..it could be,''someone who could love me all life and never leave me alone''.
so these were two sort of sentences i found...overall the poem is amazing..such beautiful imagery..keep writing.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Mr.Writer

2 Months Ago

Thank you so much Wajiha for the feedback and review! :)

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Added on July 16, 2017
Last Updated on July 17, 2017

Author

Mr.Writer
Mr.Writer

Toronto, Ontario, Canada



About
First of all... I love to write! It has always been my passion to write since... last year! :D I can easily pour my emotions in writing without telling them to anyone. I love to review people's work.. more..

Writing

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