Out of control (poem)

Out of control (poem)

A Poem by Mr.Writer
"

Okay... this is an attempt at spoken word poetry, hope it's good!

"
No one's perfect
But this young man, didn't understand that
He was desperate for love and friendship
and wanted to be wanted by others
up to the point where he changed his personality
clothes and made himself into something
he wasn't even comfortable being, just for the sake of others
Everywhere he went, he looked around consciously at himself
to make sure he didn't look like a fool in front of others
and used a mirror every five minutes to check his hair
After talking to others, he replayed every word he said in his head
to make sure he didn't mess up or accidentally hurt someones feelings 
and this is what tore him apart
all these thoughts and feelings... he just couldn't handle them anymore
it got out of his control and out of his reach, and made him weaker and weaker
being perfect was harder than he had ever thought
because, no one is perfect
tears shed down his ballistic eyes, but no one cared to notice
his heavy heart shattered into thousands of pieces
at this point, he didn't even care what people thought about him
he just wanted to disappear, and that was his last and final wish











© 2017 Mr.Writer



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Reviews

You have written this really well. Trying to fit in for many is a difficult thing to do and they become a person who they are not. I personally am more aware nowadays of when someone is lacking Self esteem and approach them in a friendly manner. It's important to treat others as you would want to be treated, otherwise peoples cries for help go unnoticed and they suffer in a lonely silence. You have written this piece with powerful words pieced together.

I would say its a great poem, or good poem. I think the words are 'hard hitting and though provoking'

You conveyed the message perfectly though.

Mark.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Mr.Writer

1 Year Ago

I agree with you Mark, it's important to treat other the way we want to be treated and to find help .. read more
You portrayed so well the feelings of a person lacking self-love. If we love ourselves, then this brute idea of perfectionism will vanish. Your poem conveyed the emotions thoroughly.
Great poem!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Mr.Writer

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much Neetha!
Wow.. I can feel the power of emtion on this poem. Such nice to use in talking rather than just reading..

Sincerely,
CAPOLAVORO

Posted 1 Year Ago


Mr.Writer

1 Year Ago

Thank you Capolavoro!! :)
this is very nice !! very relatable.. I really loved it..

Posted 1 Year Ago


Mr.Writer

1 Year Ago

Thank you Hiru!! :)
beautiful....it was simply amazing.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Mr.Writer

1 Year Ago

Thank you Wajiha! :))
Woah.....this was like poetry in motion....nice topic...very relatable...We often try to fit in as a peice of puzzle and end up losing our uniqueness.. Kudos.... Well done....

Posted 1 Year Ago


Mr.Writer

1 Year Ago

Thanks so much Heart! :))
I really stop and think that i can see the relation to this. There are moments where i seem to experience that very feeling. I don't usually speak about it because not many people happen to understand how it is with me. But this is one that i can relate to. Sincerely.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Mr.Writer

1 Year Ago

I'm rlly glad you could relate again Joanna thank you for reading! :)
I think most people experience a point in their live where they have thoughts and feelings like these. This is another good writing exercise as it lets you relate to the common man. Many writers lose their grasp on what is truly real and how to relate with the common man on realistic terms, we live in our made up worlds of make believe. Every now and then we need grounded so we never lose touch, this offers thoughts and emotions in a realistic way. No need to embellish or over dramatize to deliver your intent Bravo! my friend Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! and a bonus Clap! for shining a light on a dark subject in a classy way :~)

Posted 1 Year Ago


Mr.Writer

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much Bear!
I really appreciate it :)
This poem is based on facts how a person always tries to impress others, his entire life he strives hard to be better without realising that no one is perfect. This is truly a very effective poem which opens the eyes, makes the person feel and agree with your emotions.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Mr.Writer

1 Year Ago

Yeah, exactly Najam!
Thank you so much
Najam Us Saher

1 Year Ago

You're most welcome. ☺
That sounds like a real sucker....
Who cares what caring people thought........



he didn't even care what people thought about him...


Youth, afraid of losing society..

Nice read

Posted 1 Year Ago


Mr.Writer

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much SSR

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Added on August 19, 2017
Last Updated on August 21, 2017

Author

Mr.Writer
Mr.Writer

Toronto, Ontario, Canada



About
First of all... I love to write! It has always been my passion to write since... last year! :D I can easily pour my emotions in writing without telling them to anyone. I love to review people's work.. more..

Writing

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