Nightmare to Dream and back again

Just more raw emotion I guess

Was it ever real?
Was there ever anything actually there
--Even if it was just friendship?
Was there even a point when you actually cared about me,
Or- did I imagine it all?...
Perhaps it was a dream turned nightmare.
--Or was it a nightmare turned dream?
See the issue is, I can't seem to separate the two.
Fiction from reality, reality from fiction,
Nightmare from dream, and dream from nightmare...
And I don't know why I feel this way.

I didn't choose to fall in love with you,
and quite honestly, I tried not to.
This world was thrust upon me
--By the very heart that left me.
And I start to wonder...
Do you ever question-
What you left behind when I was left waiting?
Do you ever wonder- What I could have meant to you?
And I know that you don't feel the same way,
And I get it, I swear I do...
But-- why?
Can you tell me honestly that you never felt a spark?
That you never thought we could make it?...
Are these feelings yours, or did I imagine them too?
If their not yours, then why?
Is it because you never allowed yourself to feel this way
--or is it simply that you don't?

Was it ever real?
I ask myself that question daily,
as I eagerly await texts that never come,
and thoughts that never cease.

So was it a dream turned nightmare--
Or was it a nightmare turned dream?

Author's Note

Wow, I'm glad I didn't change what I thought I needed to, thank you everyone that has helped me along my journey of poetry. The good reviews and the bad have made my poetry and heart stronger, so thank you. Please say any constructive criticism you have and thanks for reading :)

Reviews

[William Liston]

I enjoyed reading this poem, and I found it very relatable. I like how you used repetition and rhetoric in this; as far as wordplay is concerned, I think this is your best poem. It's good to see that you have gotten a lot better sence the first poem I've read by you.

In the ninth line of the second stanza, the word "don't" needs an apostrophe.

I'd suggest forming a new line after the word "you" in the second stanza.

Something else you may want to consider is changing the visual presentation. To me, Georgia font size twelve would make this poem look great. Of course, the visual presentation won't make the poem itself any better, but it helps to enchance the atmosphere and ease of reading.

-William Liston

[Darian B.]

Once again, thank you William. I actually really like the Georgia font, looking at it now. It comes across as a bit softer and, like you said, easier to read because it is easier on the eyes. I also really like the line break, when I say this one, there is a longer pause there so it feels right. It's funny how my poetry has evolved so much, I still don't even fully know how I feel about spoken word/free verse poetry, yet I feel at home in it. Since my first poem I posted on this sight, you have helped me a lot and I am really grateful for that. Thank you

[Ana Papaya]

It's so heartfelt and heartbreaking. I think if you want to change anything just re-read it a few times and then sleep on it. The writing is very emotive. I might drop the last two lines and leave the reader with a question to ponder but I wouldn't say there's anything wrong here. I enjoyed it and felt your pain. I've asked these questions too.

[Darian B.]

You know I might just do that, after reading it a few times both ways, I think leaving it with that question actually adds more power and drives it in deeper than when the last two lines are present. Thank you, and thanks for the kind review as well!

[Ana Papaya]

You're welcome. :)