My Shadow

My Shadow

A Poem by ~Shadow Kissed~

She's always there

By my side

She never runs

Never hides.

When the sun

Ends the day

No more can she 

Come out and play

Cause now she has

To run away.

© 2009 ~Shadow Kissed~


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Featured Review

Its well written, but has alot of room for improvement. A story can be told here. Who is "she"? What is she running from? What is your relationship with her (ex: Family, Lovers, etc.)? I thought some words were forced in there for the sake of rhyming only, and "come out and play" seems very childish while I think this poem is going for a more mature feel. Try experimenting a little bit, get out of your comfort zone. Ignore the rules you think you know about poetry for a bit, just write without worrying about rhyming or fluency, all of that can be added later. Best of luck to you! I look forward to reading more of your work. =)

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Its well written, but has alot of room for improvement. A story can be told here. Who is "she"? What is she running from? What is your relationship with her (ex: Family, Lovers, etc.)? I thought some words were forced in there for the sake of rhyming only, and "come out and play" seems very childish while I think this poem is going for a more mature feel. Try experimenting a little bit, get out of your comfort zone. Ignore the rules you think you know about poetry for a bit, just write without worrying about rhyming or fluency, all of that can be added later. Best of luck to you! I look forward to reading more of your work. =)

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really like this one =]

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I loved this poem. I liked the end "Cause now she has to run away" lol
I liked it!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cute Short Poem! I just love it!!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This flows wonderfully, though I wouldn't go as far as saying that it is a wonderful piece. It is however, a well written piece.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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5 Reviews
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Added on August 5, 2009
Last Updated on August 6, 2009

Author

~Shadow Kissed~
~Shadow Kissed~

Waverly, TN



About
My name is Amber. I'm now 16 and ready to take on the world. I'm an avid reader and a bad speller so forgive me. I spend my time with a book in my hand dictonary beside me, and pen and paper within re.. more..

Writing
Prologue Prologue

A Chapter by ~Shadow Kissed~