In the form of a Pill..

In the form of a Pill..

A Poem by shallimarRose
"

drugged and raped...True story..

"


I close my eyes
the misty night air
tightens in my throat
I gasp
re-living you like a desperate lyric
reverberating over and over again
that night
a malignancy stained
into the fundamental existence
of trusting ignorance
a chartreuse soul
reading scarlet letters
and blaming myself
for your friendly portrayal
and lustful betrayal
in the form of a pill
slipped into the fragrance of saffron
when the roses were in bloom
and only you knew the intensity
of a broken heart lost and alone
in the crumbled foundation
of a troubled remnant
where the fabric of a young bride
had been ripped and torn to shreds
in the wake of a marriage
and the wake up call of a mistress
I was broken and helpless
and YOU
disguised as a friend
moved in for the kill
in the form of a pill
dazed and confused
intoxicated by a sip
of tasted betrayal
that left me lethargic
in the arms of a monster
when even then
you were not man enough
to go it alone
and the two of you
still echo in sounds
of muffled laughter
and unclear words
that follow me
forever trapped
in the dark corners
of a cerebral mask
where shame and self blame
lived for years
in the memory of four missing hours
that come like flashes of blinding light
and hidden memories
forever reappearing
disguised as a friend
that stole my will

in the form of a pill...

 

© 2010 bj smith
aka shallimarRose

 

see also :

Raped by a friend..A Night of betrayal, a lifetime..


© 2013 shallimarRose



Author's Note

shallimarRose
Bleeding ink.

My Review

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Featured Review

A monster is a monster even if they wear the mask of a friend. So sorry this is a piece of your history my sweet friend. These nightmares seem to cling to us forever, but somehow, perhaps through writing about it, I would hope you find a way to hide it in the dark shadows somewhere. The good thing is your wonderful poem can be a warning to other's who might now think twice before putting their trust where it maybe does not belong.

Posted 4 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thank you Jack.. a few have already private messaged me and thanked me for the story and giving them.. read more



Reviews

Horrors diguised as friends are the most heart-wretching of all. I felt the desperation and fear leaking through your ink. I wish you the best.

Great Write!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thank you night for reading and the well wishes.. xo
Teach me your awesome ways!! I love it :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rosaria_V

4 Years Ago

Awww yess!! I would be happy to send them to you first!! :) Thank so much xoxo
shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

No problem Rose.. there are several here I help out once in a while. Anything would just be suggesti.. read more
Rosaria_V

4 Years Ago

haha awesome!!
I am saddened to hear the horror you have been through and continue to go through, reliving this nightmare over and over again. The writing is therapeutic, but counseling may help you reach some type of peace within. To have gone through this and then have your mother blaming you, just breaks my heart. I wish you great healing in your heart and spirit from this horrific time.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thank you Barbara for taking the time.. xo Rose
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I've been looking at this piece for quite a while now trying to figure out what to say, but when I run through the options in my head, they all sound shallow...to simply say that I'm sorry, or that I feel horrible about this, or that it's all behind you now, almost feels like I'm downplaying it to an extent...there really aren't any words to express the magnitude of sorrow I feel for anyone who has had to endure such an ordeal, and I know a few who have...the best response I can come up with here is to just tell you how proud I am of you for being so willing to bring such an issue to light...it can't be an easy thing to do, especially when you're speaking autobiographically, but this kind of willingness is what is needed to fight off the stigma that seems to prevent so many other victims from being as open as you are...stay strong dear friend, you know that there are many here who truly care about you, and I am one of them...love and hugs.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thank you Steve. Yes I am open about it now but have been keeping alone in the darkness for so many .. read more
kublakhan27

4 Years Ago

Always a pleasure my dear friend..xo
very deep and touching. I enjoyed this thank you for sharing. I wanted to give you a big hug reading this and a few others I have read of yours.

Posted 4 Years Ago


shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thanks for reading WRose... xo
Bleeding ink indeed! Unfortunately, our monsters all to often are those closest to us. Knowing when and where to strike is much to tempting to pass up it appears. Again, I truly applaud your strength to compose and share this type of piece.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thank you for stopping to read and the kind words.. xo Rose
Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)

4 Years Ago

Its always a pleasure.
Ughh... brutal and graphic. Some people are just evil... friend or not.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Yes Elliott..evil plans are made by evil people.. thank you for reading. sR
Happens all too often, I hear/read horror stories every day on that survivor site I told you about, glad you're purging this shallimar, pitiful souls are they, should all be castrated as far as I'm concerned....nuff said...

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thanks Frieda.. xo
The worst kind of evil is that which takes advantage of our trust.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thank you Mark.. HUGS!! Rose
Rose....you know I understand all too well. I hope writing is a catharsis for you. The images you splashed on the page are vivid and made me remember all too well. There are evil people in this world. Unfortunately, when we fall victim to them, the results can last a lifetime. Lydi**

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

So many here have told me Lydi that they too were raped or had a daughter or someone close that has .. read more

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Added on September 19, 2013
Last Updated on September 19, 2013
Tags: hatred, rape, pain, discust, blame, shame, tears, shallimarRose, poetry

Author

shallimarRose
shallimarRose

F W, WA



About
I am a singer, writer, poet, dreamer, believer..... I am an unconventional poet who has been writing rhyme since the age of five. I enjoy all styles of poetry. I write by ear not syllable count .. more..

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