In the form of a Pill..

In the form of a Pill..

A Poem by shallimarRose
"

drugged and raped...True story..

"


I close my eyes
the misty night air
tightens in my throat
I gasp
re-living you like a desperate lyric
reverberating over and over again
that night
a malignancy stained
into the fundamental existence
of trusting ignorance
a chartreuse soul
reading scarlet letters
and blaming myself
for your friendly portrayal
and lustful betrayal
in the form of a pill
slipped into the fragrance of saffron
when the roses were in bloom
and only you knew the intensity
of a broken heart lost and alone
in the crumbled foundation
of a troubled remnant
where the fabric of a young bride
had been ripped and torn to shreds
in the wake of a marriage
and the wake up call of a mistress
I was broken and helpless
and YOU
disguised as a friend
moved in for the kill
in the form of a pill
dazed and confused
intoxicated by a sip
of tasted betrayal
that left me lethargic
in the arms of a monster
when even then
you were not man enough
to go it alone
and the two of you
still echo in sounds
of muffled laughter
and unclear words
that follow me
forever trapped
in the dark corners
of a cerebral mask
where shame and self blame
lived for years
in the memory of four missing hours
that come like flashes of blinding light
and hidden memories
forever reappearing
disguised as a friend
that stole my will

in the form of a pill...

 

© 2010 bj smith
aka shallimarRose

 

see also :

Raped by a friend..A Night of betrayal, a lifetime..


© 2013 shallimarRose



Author's Note

shallimarRose
Bleeding ink.

My Review

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Featured Review

A monster is a monster even if they wear the mask of a friend. So sorry this is a piece of your history my sweet friend. These nightmares seem to cling to us forever, but somehow, perhaps through writing about it, I would hope you find a way to hide it in the dark shadows somewhere. The good thing is your wonderful poem can be a warning to other's who might now think twice before putting their trust where it maybe does not belong.

Posted 4 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thank you Jack.. a few have already private messaged me and thanked me for the story and giving them.. read more



Reviews

I know too well Rose exactly how you feel. You are brave to write about it. I hope it helps you heal. Hugs, Julie

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

After keeping quiet for so many years it absolutely feels like a weight is lifting thank you Julie.... read more
MsJewel

4 Years Ago

You are welcome. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

It was a very long time ago. I thought I had gotten past it until 2010 when the flashbacks began and.. read more
Oh this one is such a wonderful poem that takes me back to your recent story about your abuse. In poetic form you have expressed your feelings with power and shattered emotion.
This is a poem of one to whom strength will return.
Excellent writing Rose.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thank you WW.. Yes I know I will feel better at least for awhile.. This one surprised me.. xo
This kind of deception and violation puts animals like him into the deepest pits of hell... This is a brave write, Rose, and I hope cathartic as well.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thank you Rita yes it is.. Rose
the poem was wonderful but i'm so sorry this happened to you no man should force himself on any woman or the other way around

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thank you Melissa.. The poem is like a letter I wrote to the rapest.. Rose
I read your other piece and this piece does indeed bleed ink. It must be necessary for you to do so. I hope that you find relief and release by sharing your pain. I admire your courage.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Well when there is no one to verbally talk to and you are forced to hide your tears the only way to .. read more
The deeds of evil men are the hardest to read. We beat up our own elves trying to figure out why, rarely realizing that good people and their victims can't understand stand something they're not. Hopefully we all could learn that forgiveness although the hardest, it is the greatest healer of self. You have a craft for words.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thank you my friend. I am a graduate of the school of hard knocks.. ;) Rose
Oh love...firstly, it takes guts to write this...secondly...superb articulation and love to you xx

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thank you Poppy for stopping to read and your support. Yes it was difficult to write the story itse.. read more
Poppy Ruth Silver

4 Years Ago

Yes...nevertheless, this is the type of poem that needs to be seen and I am blessed to have it xx
Poppy Ruth Silver

4 Years Ago

*have read it...typo day lol
Scary but a great write. Keep up the great work

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

stephanie

4 Years Ago

It's a very scary thing, I'm sorry this ever happened to you, and your writing is very inspirational.. read more
shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thank you Stephanie..
stephanie

4 Years Ago

your so welcome, I'm 17 so this inspired me to be careful and to take caution.
⊰ℛℛ⊱
A flunitrazepam derivative perhaps ? Rose (my G/F) did something similar to this with me a year ago and I passed out on the couch unable to even speak. Didn't wake up till noon the next day. She apologized but still, wow.

I think the same thing happened when I was at a college party - well, I'm not going to recall that horrible night right now. But yes, Rose, always be aware of what is happening around you, and don't take strange drinks or pills from 'friends.'

There is always an ulterior motive behind friendship from strangers. Sometimes it is harmless, sometimes - it is fatal.


Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thank you and yes I wrote as if it is only women it happens too but men are also often assaulted as .. read more
dw817

4 Years Ago

Hmm ... Did you take any legal action ? I talked with my Dr about what Rose did the week she gave me.. read more
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Sue
This was hard to write I am sure so well done for being brave to put pen to paper x

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Yes it was difficult but things that are difficult make us stronger I think Thank you Sue for coming.. read more

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Added on September 19, 2013
Last Updated on September 19, 2013
Tags: hatred, rape, pain, discust, blame, shame, tears, shallimarRose, poetry

Author

shallimarRose
shallimarRose

F W, WA



About
I am a singer, writer, poet, dreamer, believer..... I am an unconventional poet who has been writing rhyme since the age of five. I enjoy all styles of poetry. I write by ear not syllable count .. more..

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Broken Broken

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