Pluck My Eye

Pluck My Eye

A Poem by ShameemAkhtar

Pluck my eye
And play marble


Aim


And


Strike


Aim and strike
With the marble of my eye


Strike her


Strike her rock
Rock her stride


Break her


Rock


Rock her frolics


Survive her heart
-break
Her heart

Into


Pebbles


Gravels


Go to the jeweler


Pick my eye
Polish her rocks


Glisten my marble
Pump the purple of her heart
In the flesh of my marble


Stone
Her rock


Pluck my eye
And aim


Someone
Hand me
A help
Lend me
a hand
-le


handle

The beat


Beat
The heart
Beat


Pluck my eye


Play my marble


I don’t have a hand

© 2011 ShameemAkhtar


Author's Note

ShameemAkhtar
Your eyes can speak too...

Imagine two people conversing with their eyes where one loves the other and the other does not.

One pair of eyes tries to melt conquer the other while the other tries to break don the one...

My Review

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Reviews

i seen that and it really is sad but like they say love i blind and to tell you the truth my aunt is believign thsi guy who is only siing her but she doesnt know it i like the poem its original and it holds a great meaning !:)

Posted 11 Years Ago


Differant and in a very cool way. I like it!

Posted 12 Years Ago


Thank you for sharing with me. Keep on penning.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Well written.. I was reading the poem along different lines until I read your note... Eyes are truly the gates to a person's heart.. i agree! Nice one my friend :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


The eyes as representative of the true is not new. It is exercised in our experiences of the logos that comes to combine with ethos to define its relationship and character. Eventually it is our experience of the world. A poem that explores the borders of the experience of the logos.

Posted 12 Years Ago


I had some inkling of a thought this had something to do with love, and then after reading your author's note it started to make a lot more sense. I admire your style. Nicely done.


~Anna Rose

Posted 12 Years Ago


this was an okay write but good job :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


"The marble of my eye .. ' The jewels ... such marvelous imagery. Quite brilliant, my friend!

Posted 12 Years Ago


One more thing. The note explaining the metaphor kinda detracts from the mystery. Just my humble estimation.

Posted 12 Years Ago


I really like it! (of course, I do; I write the same way). I enjoy the breaks like "break her/rock" and "hand/le". You have a very elegant and smooth rhythm, and while this style looks so easy, it can be so hard to get right, to polish it just right. That takes talent, which you have. Keep writing.

Posted 12 Years Ago



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466 Views
38 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on August 27, 2011
Last Updated on September 5, 2011

Author

ShameemAkhtar
ShameemAkhtar

Port Louis, Mauritius



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Project Manager, Catalyst Business Solutions slave of the modern world and demands of an overwhelming job... more..

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