Break The Bottle

Stand up
Stand up and fall

Fall
In the eyes
Fall in the eyes of alcohol
But stand

On the ground

Stand up
And count

Count

The empty bottles
That fall you

Your honour

Empty the bottles
In the gutter

Make not
A stomach of your gutter

Get the guts
To stand up

And count

On yourself

Stay away from the ground
Bury the bottle
But not in your stomach

Stand up against
The bottle
Stand up
For yourself

Shy away
And make the bottle shy

Fight

And break
The bottle
Not yourself

Break the bottle
On your hand
And stand firm

Someone please

Cleanse my blood
The alcohol poisons
The poison of pain
Which poisons
The poison of love

Someone help
Me

Stand up

Reviews

[Priscilla Moore]

That was more than word play...
I feel what you are trying to express.
My advice.

Get in a tiny bit deeper.
Give us the image...
Give us truth,
albeit vague it will hit the target.
i believe in you.
You stand up.
Spit it.
Can't wait to hear the voice of you!

[Libby McKeown]

I knew the minute I saw "alcohol" what kind of poem this was going to be, and sadly I was right. The positioning and flow of your are good, but the subject matter has been to done to death, past cliche. I think if you left out bottle and alcohol, it would create vagueness and mystery and take the poem where it would really like to go. Just my humble suggestion. Thank you for posting.

[Brenda:)]

nice this will be really good to tell an alcoholic to stop drinking and this was really good keep writing :)

[Rikkevi Rue]

sometimes the words shape the feelings, and then there are those times when the feelings shape the words...

and when the readers feelings match up

well then you connected.

[Daytonight]

I enjoyed this. Keep on penning.

[SarahRose]

Stand up, stay away, break, shy away, break, bury......all are action verbs that provoke action and choice to stop self medicating. The choice to heal and clense the blood. As a painter.....I can see a shattered booze bottle surrounded by a puddle of blood. Sounds violent..........yet real. It poisons the blood and shatters lives.

[Pradnya]

good one

[Odile RAZAFIMANDIMBY]

A very strong poem. It flows like a liquid from a bottle.

[lostboy]

love can be a sickness .. or a cure. with much wisdom comes much sorrow..solomon..what comes with love??

[Shadow in the Dark]

Really nice! People really need to learn that drinking doesn't solve any of your problems they only create more problems. Even though you were playing around with words i thought that it was good.