Break The Bottle

Break The Bottle

A Poem by ShameemAkhtar

Stand up
Stand up and fall


Fall
In the eyes
Fall in the eyes of alcohol
But stand


On the ground


Stand up
And count


Count


The empty bottles
That fall you


Your honour


Empty the bottles
In the gutter


Make not
A stomach of your gutter


Get the guts
To stand up


And count


On yourself


Stay away from the ground
Bury the bottle
But not in your stomach


Stand up against
The bottle
Stand up
For yourself


Shy away
And make the bottle shy

Fight


And break
The bottle
Not yourself


Break the bottle
On your hand
And stand firm


Someone please


Cleanse my blood
The alcohol poisons
The poison of pain
Which poisons
The poison of love


Someone help
Me


Stand up

© 2011 ShameemAkhtar


Author's Note

ShameemAkhtar
Just playing with words...

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Featured Review

I can certainly attest to breaking the bottle; to break the habbit, to break yourself from taking another drink...! I grew up with an alcholic mother, bottle always in her hand or at her lips... A lot of heartache came from that bottle and from her delerium of alcoholism. It is a painful slap in the face of past resentment and a hurt that will forever be in the back of my mind. But today she drinks no more and I have forgiven her for the pain and the abuse she put myself and my siblings through due to heavy drink. Today I have my mother back and I am most greatfull that she was able to finaly break the bottle...!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

"Cleanse my blood
The alcohol poisons
The poison of pain
Which poisons
The poison of love"

My favorite verse!

Posted 12 Years Ago


Nice, with a very nice idea and moral!

Posted 12 Years Ago


This is a truely amazing poem... so filled with painful faith to be stronger that what we feel we are. good work

Posted 12 Years Ago


This reminds me of a saying I heard: "Alcohol does not drown your troubles. It just teaches them how to swim," which is so true. I have tried to find happiness and fulfillment at the bottom of alcohol bottles but to my surprise it didn't heal anything in me or give me any sense of happiness at all. When we are in pain we often turn to alcohol and drugs to feel that sense of emptiness in us but, it doesn't it just makes the whole bigger. There are so many great lines in this. "Stay away from the ground
Bury the bottle
But not in your stomach."

"Shy away
And make the bottle shy
Fight"

"And break
The bottle
Not yourself."

These are only some of many great lines. Wonderful and very motivating.

Posted 12 Years Ago


I love your poems.
I loved the formatting of this poem and I loved the diction.

Posted 12 Years Ago


good one important message is being sent. alcohol once it enters your blood takes total control of your self and kills slowly.:)

Posted 12 Years Ago


Beyond the social habit, it does become a problem in itself, where it may have first suggested relief. Taoism says, that might be like a thorn to take out another thorn, and that is a high risk play. A poem that flows well.

Posted 12 Years Ago


a very strong poem which has a repition that doesn't feel forced but organic . very good choice of words , and a beautifully executed message which you've adressed in this wonderfully organised peice . the repition of words feels something that was needed and not something that you put in for the sake of doing it , it drove the message and adressed it and it was plotted and seeded very precisely and carefully with dedication . the styles of your poems are very good and each one is different which you can how much you''ve changed throughout them , your evoultion and a progression that has come along very niceley and naturally . very good poem indeed and if this is just playing with words , then you've made a first impression that has hit all the right notes and i imagined the first two paragraphs as like someone singing it because it was really rhymthnic .

Posted 12 Years Ago


The repetition of words works quite well in this piece--nice!

Posted 12 Years Ago


A very noble attempt I must say. Alcohol can ruin people's life and I have seen too many examples in my life. a great attempt by you..

Posted 12 Years Ago



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973 Views
47 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on August 30, 2011
Last Updated on August 30, 2011

Author

ShameemAkhtar
ShameemAkhtar

Port Louis, Mauritius



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Project Manager, Catalyst Business Solutions slave of the modern world and demands of an overwhelming job... more..

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