So Close

So Close

A Story by ShaneBerry
"

a short love story

"

So Close

The boy, sat next to the girl, both with brown hair, and both with green eyes.  The dim glow of the moon was all that illuminated their faces, the streets below them were empty at this hour. The sky was clear the moon was full, and the stars were shining.

The balcony’s stone bench they sat on was cold, the cool chill made her scoot closer to him. They were friends from childhood, but they had never looked at each other the way they did now. Not a word was spoke, they just looked at each other, he wanted to move, and so did she, their lips grew closer, and closer. Soon their eyes began to close, and then. She looked up at the moon, and so did he.

The moment that could have defined the rest of their life together, was so close one moment, but in the next fraction of a second, it was farther away than ever. She blushed, He smiled. She stood, He sulked. She spoke of the cold night, and then left to her home.  And all he could say was…
“So close”…


© 2010 ShaneBerry



Author's Note

ShaneBerry
just something i cooked up lolz

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Reviews

aww that's so sweet yet very sad

Posted 7 Years Ago


Oh, how close.. a wonderful read. But a not so happy ending.. doesn't have to end though does it at least they are friends.
You cooked this up pretty good with just the right spices.
I enjoyed this very much a romantic story.

Chloe

Posted 7 Years Ago


How sweet! It's simple, short but so close to us, just like what your story say about! Although it's short, but the whole thing works REALLY well!
A very sweet short story!
:D

Posted 7 Years Ago


wow, great poem.

Posted 7 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very simple, very sweet and very neat.

Posted 7 Years Ago


I really liked this! I think you nailed the emotion, the characters and their thoughts, and the pacing (a tough trick), but I think you should edit this again for some of you commas and, as Far and Away pointed out, there are a couple of errors regarding spelling or redundancy. Overall, awesome.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Loved it! very well written. I just wanted to point out this
"Not a word was spoke" I think it should say spoken not spoke. I think it makes a little more sense.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The so closes leave us wishing for better endings. I like this short story. Strong description made the story come alive. A excellent story.
Coyote


Posted 7 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This was very well put. The words were economically used but it was written down very well =]
Great work =]

Posted 7 Years Ago


Wonderful. This is very good.

Posted 7 Years Ago



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694 Views
17 Reviews
Rating
Added on November 24, 2010
Last Updated on November 24, 2010
Tags: love, romance, heartbreak, drama, forgotten, past, present, future, last chance, girl.

Author

ShaneBerry
ShaneBerry

denton, TX



About
My Chemical Romance “The Ghost of You” Name: Shane Douglas Berry Age: Born on 8/4/1992 Hair color: Brown Eye color: Green Skin color: White, Freckled Tattoos: Oroborus (red, center.. more..

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Original Original

A Poem by ShaneBerry



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