Evolution (keeps me from being there)

sadder tone than the others on F/A/B/A/P/F, this one is actually a remake of a text poem i did a while back for my Ex. obviously this one is going to be more thought out and spelled better! :)

I wake up in bed and see that no one's there,

To wake me up by slamming my door or squirting me with water bottles,

Then again that hasn’t happened in quite a while.

A wave of nostalgia washes over my face,

And I realize that no one is here with me in this place.

 

Doctor Diamond and Sepia Dreamer,

You'd flip your lids my room couldn’t be cleaner!

Crash After no I don’t work out,

Kobra Exploder yeah I'm going to pout!

 

I can't explain how it makes me feel,

Or I guess I can, you see it doesn’t seem real.

I just got all of these odd friends in my life,

And they all got taken away in one single night.

 

I'm that long distance friend that gets forgotten,

It no longer matter how many fights I've fought in.

Because, now I am weaker without anyone near.

And I'm wishing so strongly that anyone was here!

 

If I had wings I would fly there

If I had wheels I would drive anywhere.

I'd be there if I had a way to go!

But evolution stopped me, but thanks for attending the show.

 

I try to sleep at night but think about the distance instead.

About how much I miss you all.

I'm not obsessing I would just appreciate a call,

 But, the phone lines are down so I  sit here, typing away.

Making punch lines about of what I wanted to say.

Or I'll lay down trying to sleep in my bed,

Mind alive with thoughts of what I should have said.

 

I know it seems like all I do is complain,

Like its always rain and the sun don’t shine for Cellophane.

But distance hurts worse than pain,

And I would trade all the sunshine for a day in the rain,

with each of you.

Doing all of the crazy s**t we used to do.

 

No more fifty mile drives,

Way  more accidents with knives.

Yeah, the way it used to be,

And don’t get mad or give me that third degree.

I'm not bitching I'm just saying how it ought to be!

 

If I had wings I would fly there

If I had wheels I would drive anywhere.

I'd be there if I had a way to go!

But evolution stopped me, but thanks for attending the show.

Author's Note

this one definitely has a sadder tone than the others on F/A/B/A/P/F series. this one is actually a remake of a text poem i did a while back for my Ex. obviously this one is going to be more thought out and spelled better! :)
please point out any mistakes1 and let me know how you guys feel about my new work!:) this one introduces Kobra Exploder and Crash After, two more friends of Cellophane Cola. hope you are enjoying the F/A/B/A/P/F series!!!

Reviews

[jessdixon]

I like the cycle of your thoughts in each stanza. You actually brought up a lot of memories of my own! Very nice.

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Shane,

Isolation. It's a desperate feeling, isn't it? How can one feel happy in isolation with no one to share a triumph or a fall? The world seem empty and without meaning. It seems we alone can't supply it all.

Lots of nice phrasing, here. I especially like

"I know it seems like all I do is complain,
Like its always rain and the sun don’t shine for Cellophane.
But distance hurts worse than pain,
And I would trade all the sunshine for a day in the rain,
with each of you."

with it's aaaa rhyme, and it's wonderful sentiment.

This is a fine piece of writing that I greatly enjoyed. Kudos, My Friend!

Very best regards,

Rick

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A fierce combination of thoughts and emotions, lands weight to the reader,w el done, good read.

[Coyote Poetry]

A lot of thoughts and memories in the poem. I had to read a second time to grasp each thought and places you took me with your words. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote