My Guardian Angel

My Guardian Angel

A Story by Cathair Cathmore
"

Even though the voice could only be heard by me, it somehow cheered me up, because it made me think that I wasn't fighting alone, made me feel like I have my own guardian angel.

"

When I grew up, I was subjected to a lot of scolding.

Some were caused by little things like forgetting to brush my teeth before bed. Some were caused by bigger things like stealing money. Some were my fault, some weren't. 

Every time the scolding droned on, there was a voice from somewhere inside my head. One that always retorted to every single part of the scold, coming up with arguments that I most of the time thought to be pretty solid. Sometimes it was quieter, usually when I was indeed wrong. Sometimes it was incredibly loud, especially when I was right- or at least when I thought I was right, or have a reason for doing the wrong thing. 

Even though the voice could only be heard by me, it somehow cheered me up, because it made me think that I wasn't fighting alone, made me feel like I have my own guardian angel. Okay, it wasn't very guardian angel-like as the voice spouted quite a lot of bad words, and no guardian angel in the books or Wikipedia was mentioned to speak bad words. Regardless, I was pretty happy because there was someone- or something- that would defend me from the scolding that still ached despite how much of a routine it was.

I once wished to gain the courage to actually voice out the argument that the guardian angel- I decided to call it that- gave to me. I thought it was like a spiritual experience that I had to materialise myself for it to take effect. I believed that for a few months as I built my courage from scratch, slowly, steadily, quietly. Until the time came for me to display, my best show of courage.

Unfortunately, I was completely shut down by the scold that came with a loud holler and an order to shut up.

I shut up.

Then, I wondered why the guardian angel spoke to me at all. I asked it several times, but it wouldn't answer me. Maybe it was upset because its perfectly sound argument was shut down with just an order, without a chance to be listened to. I couldn't blame it. I was pretty upset myself. Well, more at myself, though. Because I didn't have the strength, to at the very least, make the argument that my guardian angel had crafted for me to be able to be heard.

I figured it would be mad at me and wouldn't defend me in the next scolding, but it didn't. Once again I heard the battle of arguments between the droning scold and the passionate defence of my guardian angel, and I couldn't help to always be amazed. It didn't give up on me. It stayed. And I felt so relieved- my head went blank.

And then the voice vanished- only the drone continued on.

I looked at the mirror, seeing a little bit of colour on my cheeks, the glint of determination on my eyes, before my entire face contorted into surprise and sinking realisation.

My guardian angel.
 _________________
| Defend | Give Up |



© 2016 Cathair Cathmore



Author's Note

Cathair Cathmore
Please tell me if there's anything that I can do to improve! I haven't been writing in English for a long time so it might be a little bit messy, but I don't want it to be an excuse. I still want my writing skills, so, please don't be shy to submit a review. I will hugely appreciate it! Thank you!

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Reviews

I honestly really enjoyed reading it! Gonna stay tuned xx

Posted 2 Years Ago


Cathair Cathmore

2 Years Ago

Thank you so much! I am glad that you find it enjoyable! ^^
"no guardian angel in the books or Wikipedia was mentioned to speak bad words" , good one, u need to include more funny parts in the story. it must seem funny relation between u and the protective angel inside u.


Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cathair Cathmore

2 Years Ago

I put that there for a reason, not just for comedy aspect :) thank you for reading and reviewing! I'.. read more

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421 Views
2 Reviews
Added on May 22, 2016
Last Updated on May 24, 2016
Tags: guardian angel, scold, coping mechanism

Author

Cathair Cathmore
Cathair Cathmore

Jakarta, DKI Jakarta, Indonesia



About
I write to tell a story, about what I have gone through, about what I have known and learned, about the fears that eat me up at night, and to understand that everything is not for nothing. more..

Writing