Donkey

In India you can see donkies standing on the road. this is about my fear of hitting one and its perils. i'v tried to make it comical

On my bike, riding in style

Suburb from city, i smile

There’s no traffic for miles

Let me speed up for a while

 

On the horizon, my sight explored

Something obtruded from the road

There stood a stubborn lost donkey

As if searching for some lost key

 

His composure reminded me of the divine

He didn’t say a word, didn’t gave a sign

His stoic look reminded me of a saint

While his ears reminded me of the devil

 

Blew my horn at best, so he can hear

Some veil must be on his devil ears

Seems like he will stand there for years

Bloody thing, don't you have no fears?

 

What is the matter with you?

Have you been turned into statue?

Has the road got his foot on glue?

Can somebody give me a clue?

 

My wheel hit him on the back

So i fell and broke my back

He brayed and i yelled back

"People aptly call you a*s!"

 

He still stood glued and in numb

I licked my wound, he is dumb

He will stand as the lost donkey

Until the return of his lost key

Author's Note

any kind of review is accepted. tips to improve are also welcomed.

Reviews

[dw817]

⊰ℛℛ⊱
It's especially curious to note this rhymes remarkably well, all around until you get to two words that stand out, "devil," and, "a*s." *Grin*

But yes, there is a term called, "As stubborn as a mule (or donkey)." and yes, they can be. Remarkably stubborn and set in their ways. Should you ever come across a donkey that you need to move him. I suggest you move around him as he will quite complacently and contentedly stand his ground no matter the cause or condition. :)

[Joyrider]

Thank you dw18. I agree with you, it's better to get around a donkey rather than expecting it to move.

[dw817]

Like many things in life. Does the ball fall down or the universe fall up ? A maze can be solved either from entering at the beginning or starting from the ending. Always keep all paths open to you. :)

[Great Aunt Astri]

A donkey can be an analogy for quite a lot of things!!!! Sometimes it is definitely worth going around them. I love verse three, but perhaps instead of 'reminded me' you could have use 'were like' (and made it into a simile....it is supposed to be more poetic, but I don't know, not sure)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

It was kind of weird lol very weird storyline.
Although i liked it it flowed well, rhymed well and was well written.
It was different and unique little write i like that about it.
Well done enjoyed the read keep writing....

Cimmy :)

[Marissa M.]

I enjoyed this. Your use of religious comparisons to the donkey were great.

[Lisa Victoria]

Very funny Shiggy... good write:)

[zaneybear]

I honestly sort of feel as if im the donkey while reading this, like that just comes off to me..but I like this piece, it's nice and well written and very witty at the same time.

[Prritiy]

hahahaha so your forte is humor :) liked it.

[Zero_Edge88]

Ah the loyal yet stubborn donkey, it is one unyielding animal but to where we go it takes us unrelentingly and without hesitation. After all, it's like our a*s, if we don't go anywhere we're just going to stay in one place right? Piece itself is hilarious and the more I thought of it, I just wanted to laugh because even though you fell off the bike the donkey still didn't move. :) Very good and thank you!

[Joyrider]

Thank you Zero :)

[Christopher Angel]

Hah I liked this very much. It was funny I actually laughed out loud. Aside from some grammar and spelling mistakes it was very good!

[Joyrider]

Thank you for reading Christopher. Can you please point out the mistakes, so that I can correct them

[Christopher Angel]

Let me speedup for a while.

speed up. two words.

'His composure reminded me of divine'. of the divine

His stoic look reminded me of saint
While his ears reminded me of devil

of a saint and of the devil.

'seemed like he will stand there for years' Seems not seemed