Let Me Burn

When you keep holding onto people even when they let go...

Let Me Burn…

 

I watched myself burn,

My dreams like ashes

Blown away…

Alone and defeated,

As I walked this empty street

On the boulevard of my broken dreams.

 

Where were you when

My heart was bleeding?

When were you when

My sky came crashing down?

Never thought that you would deceive me…

Now, I am caught up in my own theories,

Never knowing what to believe.

 

I searched for your voice

In every other place I could.

But only silence answered.

Chasing down the path that you took.

Trying to find what I lost…

How long will you hide your face?

In this tempest of souls wandering aimless…

 

Is to love just a broken promise?

Is to trust just another lie..?

I’m burning in my agony.

And you won’t even come to say good bye…

 

We are playing a game,

Of hide and seek.

You hide from your commitments…

And I seek you, helpless…

For I know no one but you,

In this world full of strangers.

 

You are my extinguished light of hope,

In this world gone so cold.

Everything is breaking up,

Falling apart,

Turning into nothing but

Just smoke and ash…

 

And you watch me burn

From behind your walls,

Like a coward, running away.

So tell me now…

How long are you going to let me burn?

Author's Note

Well, This poem not like me at all.... I don't usually depend on others to help me get out of things because I don't trust easily (due to various factors). But, sometimes when I let them be a big part of my life and depend on them.... and when they end of betraying me... this poem is some what close to how I feel....
Please Review..

Reviews

[Justin Xavier Smith]

Very passionate. Very emotional. I think we can all relate to these feelings. (love is a b***h)

A few of the images or phrases you use are a little cliche. I see them in poems all the time, so I might change some. Notably "boulevard of broken dreams" or "where were you when my heart was bleeding?" and a couple others that just seem... unoriginal. Which isn't the worst problem to have, considering basically nothing is original anymore. But there just seems to be a bit more in here than there should be. Anyway, I liked the poem, I'd just do another pass and make a few tweaks here and there

[Moonlight]

You got that right! Actually I was waiting to see if anyone would point out this but this piece was written by be after listening to a song "Let Me Burn" by the band Red. So, I guess it just rubbed off on the poem. But, I thought I might still post it. I mean, it doesn't matter right. But, this was the only one in which I tried something like this! Glad to see that there are people who can give such honest reviews. Thanks a lot for you review! :)

[Moonlight]

However, you would have noticed, if not, I might just tell you that after the 2nd stanza, everything was original. So, it is not a copy of any piece. I like to think of it as a fusion.

[Roshan Nair]

And you watch me burn
From behind your walls,
Like a coward, running away.
So tell me now…
How long are you going to let me burn?

The emotion you are trying to convey is very beautifully come through, almost scenic.
Great job! :) liked the entire piece

[Moonlight]

Thanks a lot! I really appreciate your review. :)

[Vishuddha]

Hauntingly beautiful. How we are driven by emotions! A reminder to every young maid to cherish herself and not be betrayed. None of us are who we seem to be. That is the nature of maya. There is many a person in this world who will do or say anything to get what they want. Everyone has their own agenda. Be wary and watch. Actions are more true than words.
Yours heart is your center. It is your very being. It is your most precious gift. Do not give it lightly. Do not hang it on a thread of hope.

[Moonlight]

Thank you for your kind words ma'am! :)

[ANTO]

Loved that you referenced 'Boulevard of Broken dreams' Shivangi.
Your writing here - its a warning against putting all our emotional eggs into one basket for when that basket turns - we are ruined.
The repeated use of the ashes metaphor drives home the wasteland that is left behind by betrayal.
Very good writing my friend.

[Moonlight]

Yeah... I love that song and the band. Thanks fir the review Anto! :)

[B.J]

Full of sadness, life poems are so touching and full of flow. I like it, it held me there all the way

[Moonlight]

I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for reviewing! :)

[B.J]

your most welcome

[Lizardo]

I can relate to this poem my friend....
Ah, I love the sadness in the poem, it gives this a unique touch to the poem and to the heart
Lovely poem moonlight, This is very good :)

[Moonlight]

Thanks a lot for reviewing! :)

[Daisy]

it's so much true they are with you in your good time but leave you and make your time bad...... it wonderfully depicts the reality..... great job moonlight.....

[Moonlight]

Thanks a lot Daisy! :)

[closed]

deffinitely felt this poem through and though. and the reality of what youre writing is all too real sometimes. the one's we're closest too are the very one's that hurt us the most. So we become broken.

But through the pen we rise, and we become untouchable

immortal


thanks for sharing


-Dream

[Moonlight]

Thanks a lot Dream! :)

[Cool Girl]

I love it! This had so much emotion and feeling, it was great!

[Moonlight]

Thanks a lot CG!:)

[Cool Girl]

Welcome! :)

[El Chico]

It's a cool poem. life sure is messy. This poem sounds like the emotion of vulnerability, and the afterthought of that can feel like a fire sometimes. Knowing one is vulnerable, allows you to build new elements of character, so they rise from the ashes. I like it.

[Moonlight]

Yeah I agree! Thanks a lot El Chico! :)