What Did Happen After You Left

Love tastes like a cookie you stole from the pantry.

I fell asleep
and 

dreamed.

You.

I woke up

thoughtful.

I made breakfast -

cut a banana into a bowl,
poured in Muesli (you never liked it)

and cold milk -

and I wondered what you were doing.

I unlocked my phone

and locked it again

when I saw 477 messages from 7 chats

but none of them from you.

On second thought,

I opened our chat again,

just to scroll back

to a time

you were sitting across the table from me.

I admit,

your messages are still as funny

as they were back then. 

I smiled

like work was over

and went off my way as happy as I could be. 

I did my best not to laugh

when I thought

about all the funny things you said,

but I couldn't stop

and the laughter spread -

over my pessimism 
and inability to accept

separation.

I heard a girl

talk about her home

and my mind wandered

to you.

I don't know how or when

you created a space

that held our memories

like a box of photos

on a shelf.

I sipped my 7th drink

and 

dialled your number.

Slurring, 

I asked you how you were

and 

if you had dinner.

I don't know

if I should step back

and 

make way for you 

to go to where you dreamt of.

After all,

I've got memories to hold onto.

Brief flickers of times

that you captivated mind, body and soul. 

I've even got a hundred thousand words

embossed in my mind

that I go back to the times,

wishing I could have one more day

with your happy self.

I've got your letter

hidden deep inside my worn out Mango purse

(the one you said was unlucky,

because I got broke too quickly)

and 

I still grin,

every time I read when I feel alone. 

I've got you 

in ways

nobody ever will.