Inadequacy

Words are too frivolous for some emotions

I've been spinning silken words

For quite a while now

A tireless spider weaving web upon web

Persevering upon the path of perceived Glory:

A prize with all the permanence of a dandelion

And I have failed

I have failed for I cannot harness sunlight to paint laughter 

Nor command the dark clouds to rain sorrow

Not if the oceans themselves flowed through my story

Could they match the eloquence of the tempest within

I have glimpsed it

the Hand that strewed galaxies around at Birth

And somewhere between the opening and closing of that fist

My tempest has carved a tribute: boundless and eternal

But my silk is inadequate.

Reviews

[Robbie~xoxo~]

OH MY GOODNESS!!! This is STUNNING!!
You are more than adequate to spin your silken words, dear Shreyas... (sigh)

This is immaculate... you are one of my favorite writers here (The best of the BEST)..
I find your words to be an inspiration, no matter how you weave it...

Your tapestry is a colorful masterpiece, whether it is filled with dark or bright shades of emotion,
YOU have perfected the art of Poetry...your universal words resonate in my heart, thoughts which touch me deeply...

Beautiful!....into my faves~xoxo~:)

[Augustus]

Well, what can I say? I'm overwhelmed, Robbie! I can't thank you enough for your generous words. You say I have perfected the art of poetry. Truth be told, I would never be able to master erotica the way you have, even if I am given several lives. It is immensely gratifying for me to have such a discerning reviewer and talented writer hold my work in such high esteem. You certainly made my day! Well, it's past midnight here, so you've made my tomorrow as well! :)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

It's my pleasure to read your work of art!... You have made "tomorrow" something to look forward to. :)

[Susan C. Allen]

wow so incredible...you seem to capture inadequacy perfectly and again I can relate and feel like I just fall into your words...like I am flying.
Susan

[Augustus]

Thank you so much, Susan!

[Susan C. Allen]

You are very welcome Shreyas, I often find the smartest people are also the most spiritual and talented...

[emmajoy]

There are people who can write, and, there are poets. The first, bless them, place letters without regard to the how and where; the latter respect selves, sounds, style, heart and spirit and work to create a memorial to thoughts recently arrived. You have - you have with the above.. tis beautiful, tis masterfully written. Enough said!

'.. somewhere between the opening and closing of that fist ~ My tempest has carved a tribute: boundless and eternal ~ But my silk is inadequate.' Not so.

[Augustus]

Wow Emma! That is a great honour. Can't thank you enough!

[Awakened Rose]

ahh. This poem was beautiful. Such strong energy felt between words. "I've been spinning silken words" was one of my favorite stanzas I've ever read. I like this poem so much I feel because you can really feel the masculine energy behind it. It felt like love between a King and Queen. Thank you for sharing :)

[Augustus]

Wow! Thank you so much for sharing your impressions! :)

[A. Amos]

And I have failed
I have failed for I cannot harness sunlight to paint laughter
Nor command the dark clouds to rain sorrow
Not if the oceans themselves flowed through my story
Could they match the eloquence of the tempest within

Above lines are brilliant my friend...

[Augustus]

Thank you Amos!

[Michael G. Smith]

As I read this I ponder the words of some forgotten philosopher who reminded us that we are our own worst critic. I had a conversation with a friend the other day who praised me for the service I do in helping others and all I could think about was how I always am thinking how I could be doing more. In this poem I read a man who is very humble and that is an attribute of the Lord being reflected.

[Augustus]

Thank you for your wise words Michael! If one has the desire to learn and improve, one must be humble. I wish to be a student forever.

[Michael G. Smith]

I have been fortunate to gain a lucrative career with only a high education but I am a student of life. I am also researching, reading and writing. My love is the one with the masters degree and her love and the Lord's are my main inspirations. I enjoy your poetry as it shares with your deep but clear perspective of another brother's life.

[kublakhan27]

This is a phenomenal piece, especially stanza two which is brilliant...awesome work :)

[Augustus]

Thank you Steve!

[Rachelle]

In the course of our creative catharsis, we acknowledge our humble limitations to the One true Source from which a mere thought conceived universes and beyond.
Luceat lux!

[Augustus]

Thank you Rachelle!

[Gleb Zavlanov]

A very fine viewpoint of inadequacy. What I found truly delightful was the refreshing use of language to weave images I'm overly acquainted with.

"A prize with all the permanence of a dandelion....."

"I cannot harness sunlight to paint laughter
Nor command the dark clouds to rain sorrow"

These lines are truly the children of a fine, beautiful imagination, one of the key traits to a great, timeless writer. Another awesome poem.

One small suggestion:

I've heard that the use of the ellipsis can be quite distracting to the eye, and should be used only when quoting a specific text. That being said, I think that taking away the ellipses would be nice, and yet at the same time, it wouldn't detract anything from the meaning of the poem.

As always, however, your poetry astounds me.

[Augustus]

Thank you so much for your generous and well considered review Gleb! You are the second person to advise me to remove the ellipsis, so I have done that. Thank you for pointing it out!

[Shezza]

Unrequited at its best! Favourite line: I have failed for I cannot harness sunlight to paint laughter - Impeccable choice of words.

[Augustus]

Thank you Shezza!