At the end of the tunnel.

At the end of the tunnel.

A Story by Jigyasa

As she stands on the edge of the cliff, she embraces the cold wind that blows at her, tugging at her long overcoat behind her. Her arms folded, her eyes closed. Strands of her hair carresses her face while the rest dances with the wind. Her face looks peaceful, without a wrinkle of tension. She takes slow deep breaths, as though in meditation. And slowly, almost dreamily, she opens her eyes. Her long eyelashes flutter at the blowing wind before revealing her beautiful hazel eyes. There is a breathtaking view ahead of her- the mountains, the forests, the houses that look like pieces of toys, but she isn't looking at them. Her mind is clear of any thoughts, she feels light, she feels free. 
Her hands unfold and reach sideways, as if she were a bird about to take flight. The wind blows, now, into her, as if daring her. Her eyes close again as she draws in a deep breath. 
She sees a face, his face and at once a hint of smile perks up the corners of her rich, pink lips. He is smiling at her, his eyes warm, welcoming. Her smile widens and the wind howls and blows, celebrating that smile. His arms reach out for her, he's calling her and she must, she must go, there's no way to refuse. His warm embrace is awaiting her, his smell, his taste, his love. There is an invisible bond and she is drawn to him. The wind is now cheering, cheering for them to become one. 
Strands of her hair that curl beneath her earlobe shifts as though the wind has whispered something to her and she giggles. Her soft laughter echoes in the vast cliff. He is not smiling anymore, he starts to withdraw his arms. Her smile disappears, her forehead is beginning to crease. "No!" she wants to scream, but she knows he can't hear her. He is starting to turn away, he is leaving without her. Her arms reach forward to stop him, she takes a step towards him and she is falling, the wind is embracing her, pulling her, dancing around her. Her arms are still reaching forward and her eyes show fear as they open. But there's a light, a beautiful strand of light and it soothes her, it calms her. She knows it'll lead her to him. Her eyes become peaceful again and glisten with fresh tears of joy. She watches the light grow and it grows till it surrounds her, till it becomes her and there's no more fear, just him waiting for her

© 2014 Jigyasa


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Featured Review

I really liked your descriptions and I got a good sense of what she looked like just from the first opening lines. My only suggestion would be to cut down on the amount of pronouns that you are using. It seems like every third word is her, or she, which starts to feel repetitive quickly. Just an example, you say "She opened her eyes," which can be rewritten, "Her eyes opened," cutting out an unnecessary "she". But, it's just a suggestion, overall it's up to you. But nice work on your story, and best of luck in the future.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jigyasa

10 Years Ago

Thank you so much for the review! i'll definately keep that in mind.



Reviews

Its a nice one :). I could imagine it rightaway :)


Posted 9 Years Ago


Jigyasa

9 Years Ago

Thanks. i really appreciate it :)
I really liked your descriptions and I got a good sense of what she looked like just from the first opening lines. My only suggestion would be to cut down on the amount of pronouns that you are using. It seems like every third word is her, or she, which starts to feel repetitive quickly. Just an example, you say "She opened her eyes," which can be rewritten, "Her eyes opened," cutting out an unnecessary "she". But, it's just a suggestion, overall it's up to you. But nice work on your story, and best of luck in the future.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jigyasa

10 Years Ago

Thank you so much for the review! i'll definately keep that in mind.
This is my first writing here. Any feedback at all is appreciated...

Posted 10 Years Ago



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Added on December 28, 2013
Last Updated on January 12, 2014

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