Dance

A poem I wrote, and hope anyone can decipher the story from it. I will probably write out the short story that can accompany it, but I like leaving the poem as is.

Enraptured by the shadows of night,

morning comes with dawning light,

upon the brim, beyond my sight,

the dancers dance in binding flight.

 

Twisting on said yonder shore,

blackened ash that pours and pours,

from mountains high above our doors,

who rest inside once hidden lore,

and always shall we beg for more.

 

With power do the Mountains stand,

the Gods of Wrath bring down their hands,

skies so gray above burning land,

time is slipping in grains of sand...

 

The dancers dance with grace and ease,

they mix and mingle through ashe and breeze,

above the mountains so hot, they freeze,

the Gods of Wrath do as they please,

the dancers fall in frozen trees,

their dancing, by the mountains, seized.

 

The wind has died, not to return,

the skies are cold, the land is burned,

the mountains loving gaze is turned,

our world, so scarred, will never learn.

 

But still we beg the mountains high,

bring back the dancers from the sky,

to earth they've fallen beyond our eyes,

to earth they've fallen, to their demise!

We beg you mountains, let them rise!

 

Darkness settles, night has come,

we hear the battles ending drums.

The sky is lost, the earth has won;

our dancers' dance, forever done...

Reviews

[Denni]

i think i understand what this is about, is it about a volcano that erupted?

[Krazy On The Outside]

I love this!
It is an amazing piece.
I love the way you rhymed it.

[.Bunnie.]

Wow that was written so beautifully !! ^.^ Great job!!

To me...I could be way off...but the majority of it sounds like it's about a volcano on some island, and all the things that revolve around it. COULD BE WRONG! :P But too much of it relates to that.

:O Am I right!??! *crosses fingers*

[Denni]

Very creative, tells the story through the worlds point of view(i think) love the rhythm

[Sasavet]

I do like this, and I see pleas and hopes that something someone dreams of would be on this earth rather than just "in the sky" as you put it, but in the end what's make believe is just that, and the sadness behind that. Now I personally don't really like rhyme too much because I find it takes away freedom to say what you want to say and it sounds too structured for me, but that's not your doing but my preference. It did work in this quite well I think, if I was one of those people who liked rhyme :P

This is a very creative portrait of wishes though, it's great.

[Jenniferrr]

Written every well i like it :) its great