Embers

Short story that's been floating around my mind for a little while now.

The night was blacker than most. It was dark. Dank. Musty. Echoes of cries reached my ears but I could not hear them. I could only watch transfixed.

Her pyre stood in the the center of the inlet. The tide was out, the ocean was quiet. No breeze stirred the fire fly embers as they reached ever higher, disappearing into the sky. The stars watched over us, no moon shone it's pity. We were alone, her and I. I could not touch her, nor hold her. I could not smell the roses adorning her neck as they were consumed by flame. As she was consumed.

I could not cry. I could not speak. I could only watch her burn away. Her skin so pale, her eyes closed forever. Her hair as if spun of gold being eaten away. Her body, uncovered, revealed to me in all its beauty. A beauty not meant for this world. Not meant for me.

She had been my angel, my beacon of light when all else shone darkest. She took me from death, and brought me into life that I had not deserved. She gave me her life. I took her life, stole it. Because I had loved her. I held her, embraced her. I entwined our bodies and made her mine. For that she suffered. She became hated, and it ate her.

My love killed her. But I cannot repent, nor regret. I cannot apologize for my love. Nor for hers. I could not weep my lost beloved. I could not weep as I watched her burn, her ashes falling around me in the night.

Her embers, her ashes.

The night was blacker than most, darker than most. Night accepted us, and wept in my place.

Reviews

[Tobias H. Reese]

Great piece. Lots of potential. I suggest editing "transfixedly" for transfixed.
Thank you for entering my recent contest "Without you".
This was a difficult piece to deliberate over.
Also, many factors come in to play when considering a work for short film adaptation: production means and limitations; interpretative appeal for the other artists (photographers/voice-over actors) onboard etc.
This is in my reading list. I hope you work on it and keep in touch. Peace.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Congratulations on your top win in the contest. I just had to come and read what knocked me into second place! lol May this be only one of your great literary triumphs. Wishing you all the best! My rating, 100%

[Rohan]

I really liked the intensity of this poem. The senses had been brought on with sus=ch vividity that I could fee, see, and smell everything that waswritten, as if it were alive.