My Daily Reminder

Daily confliction...with myself. Time to let go.

 

Today, I am through with you.

My beatings and your emotional thievery has gone too long.

Instead, I will sail away,

Leaving you to feel pain, to live and wonder, as I did for so long.

For the fear that she will leave or perhaps stray behind your back.

(“oh, but she’s so purrrrrfectly pretty!!!”)

 

Today, I am through watching you bask in glory.

I guess you’ve won what you’ve always wanted.

A younger thinner perfected version of what “I could have been”.

Just as pretentious as you.  Just as ‘perfect’ as you.

A proof that I am a talentless, ugly, fat and ‘stupid’ slob.

(a waste of your precious time, a flaw to your oh so dark and honest production)

 

She loves to stare at herself, like you

And is a self proclaimed fraud of so called complexity, like you

Although the truth is so clear to me.

She and you are just like everyone else in this world.

Oh so simple, self-absorbed, conceited leeches

Sucking off others’ pain to exude benevolence.

(to rub your ‘talent’ in faces of those that loved you more than everything on earth!!!!)

 

I remember when you claimed to love me.

All those times you refused the wine, you couldn't risk opening the vault!

It’s funny how you can enjoy it with her and everyone else.

But... seeing this I have realized the truth.

I was just a pawn in your game and a tool to your success.

Bruised and misused I’ve been tossed out like an old, irrelevant, out-dated machine.

Yep, looks like you got her!

Just like you told me you would… that new model. 

(Eh hmm)

 

Tonight, I shall bid you adieu.....

And go home to the one love that accepts me unconditionally

Go home to he who accepts me as I am.

The one who thinks that I am the most beautiful person in the world.

To feel the warmth of genuine admiration and love.

The one that surrounds me in a blanket of protection from the demons

That you summoned on me when I chose, selflessly, to let you go.

A sentencing that I apparently deserved?

 

Tonight I will go home to him and love him as he deserves.

And as I turn out the lights, I’ll shed my last tear.

Remembering the goodness I brought to your life.

Remembering the all of the support which I had tirelessly worked for and showered you with.

I am worth something regardless of how you felt about me, you were so superior.

 

My natural chubby body aside….. I am beautiful.

My thin non-lipstick lips mutter honest emotional words… and that is beautiful.

My ageing reveals wisdom…. and that is beautiful.

My cold eyes invoke a deep ocean of passion… and that is beautiful.

And who am I trying to convince?

Myself…….

Author's Note

Always love to hear comments.