Whispering Mist

Whispering Mist

A Story by S. Kimball
"

Short story taking cues from Poe's style.

"

Some thought my soul shattered -- no! In truth, it was stronger than ever. I was whole, not halved. It was with an undivided heart that I did the deed. The mist showed me what mortal eyes cannot see; it had shown me what must be done. The mist was a blessing, not a curse! Enlightened is the word they seek, not insane.

What do I ramble about? I'll tell you: Soil, plastic, candy, fear. The eve stank of these. All Hallow's Eve, as a matter of fact. Others deemed me too old to partake in the festivities. However, I was not to go door to door and beg for sweets. I had a far more important mission as I donned a cape and a raven mask, sporting the visage of old plague doctors. Quite ghoulish if I do say so myself.

I sought only a single residence and a single prize, not several as the children did. The residence of my beloved! I had "lost" her, you see. But that's a relative phrase. Perhaps she was pledged to another man -- she was still mine.

Who is this lovely woman? Divinity named her Sarah, and even as newborns, we were destined to be together. The mist told me such things. It told me that our momentary separation was her test, as she foresaw that we would be forever wed on the morrow. A test to see if I had what it took to have her! Always a clever girl. The other man meant nothing. The rings they had exchanged were fake; forgeries! The poor creature was doomed to be a sacrifice of our love, haha!

I slid past the children, all of them reeking with innocence. The moon soared highly, just as I had been told it would. It illuminated the way for my long walk. The first part of my test, you see. Three miles through the city! This was nothing, nothing compared to the reward that awaited me, and so I trudged on.

It took me a good deal of time to arrive. Her home was deceivingly modest. A few shrubs in the doorway, a single window for her living room. Always playing down her worth. I walked confidently through the door, as I needn't knock; she knew I was coming, of course. I was greeted by a delighted shriek of joy when she saw me! She ran at first, confusing me. Then I understood she only wished to prolong the test. She was still unsure of whether I was ready. But I was! I would kill for her -- and incidentally, I did! The decoy man came rushing at me, but he knew not of my strength. I drew the metal bar the mist had told me to bring and brought it across his head, once and then thrice more. He collapsed, leaving me my prize to take. Her room was down the hall, to the left, as I knew it would be. She was on the bed, trembling with anticipation. I withdrew my pistol, a terrible device, though it served a higher purpose that day. She shrieked again, calling my name. She was begging me to wed us! Oh, my love, my love. How could I say no?

Two shots. My bride went silent. I ran to her, embraced her, and put the weapon under my chin. What luck -- it was twelve o'clock exactly. Our wedding day. I could only smile as I pulled the trigger, ready to begin our lives as newlyweds.


-- s. kimball.


© 2010 S. Kimball



Author's Note

S. Kimball
Grammar may be a bit questionable at some parts, and I realize I use more dashes and exclamation points than usual. It's to add suspense and atmosphere.

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TAO
I thoroughly enjoyed this. At first, I didn't get, then the image became something. I very much liked the last paragraph, especially when "his lady" opens the door and runs, and he takes it as somewhat of an invitation to proceed with what we know is coming. Nicely done, S. Kimball.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I enjoy of the Gothic despair one claims to portray throughout the story

Posted 4 Years Ago


That man is insane. Of course he doesn't know it. I didn't know it until she runs away from him. The dashes and exclamations didn't really slow me down or bother me at all.



This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A very dark and macbre tale, which Poe would have loved to call his own. Interesting how the human mind can create a situation which is far from the reality they face. Thank you, for sharing this dark short story with us.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
TAO
I thoroughly enjoyed this. At first, I didn't get, then the image became something. I very much liked the last paragraph, especially when "his lady" opens the door and runs, and he takes it as somewhat of an invitation to proceed with what we know is coming. Nicely done, S. Kimball.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 4, 2010
Last Updated on October 22, 2010
Tags: edgar allan poe, mist, murder, gun, lover, depression, pain
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S. Kimball
S. Kimball

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About
I'm S. Kimball. I don't write to be famous, so I use a pen name. I prefer things involving murder and torture, although love and happy endings are a guilty pleasure of mine from time to time. If.. more..

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