Asleep

Asleep
Why do they wake
the princess sleeping beauty
while she's sleeping
what a cruel thing to do
she could be dreaming something
something beautiful
Sometimes i wish i could stay sleeping
that way i wouldn't have to wake up to the hole in my life
So why
Try to wake someone when there sleeping
Such a cruel thing to do
but even worse is
not to wake when your depended on
like those who sleep in padded boxes
underneath us
such a cruel thing to do
when your depended on
to stay forever more
asleep

Reviews

[Alm]

At first I thought that "what a cruel thing to do" was a reference to one of the versions of sleeping beauty (I forgot what it was called, but sleeping beauty was raped in that version).

But nevermind that, I like how this shows two sides to the story. The first, is hoping to stay asleep--to dream of better and beautiful things.

And the second part, is how it is crueler to stay asleep or, (as I see it) die when you are still needed. The part, "like those who sleep in padded boxes underneath us" I see as poor parents who have only love to give to children, and are needed by them. But die and give up, leaving their children--who need them--behind. I guess that's how I see it, because of where I'm from.

It's beautiful, in all its entirety.

p.s. "There" on line 11 should be changed to they're, and "your" on line 14 and 18 should be changed to you're. I mean no offense, just grammar checking.

-Alm :)

[Emily B]

i used to be afraid of dying, but then, there is such a thin line between here and there, that it really doesn't make much difference

[Admiral Kirk]

Interesting poem. I liked the repetition of the phrase "such a cruel thing to do". It really got the point across. Well penned; I am glad I read it.

[Celestial Witch Child]

Ooooooooh- I like it. I like it a lot. (:

[The Pain Stays Fresh]

Very good. I'm sure most people don't even consider poor Sleeping Beauty's point of view. This is wonderful.

[Castonovia]

Sometimes the bliss of fantasy is preferred to reality... sleeping... when there's so much hurt, but that same hurt is a reason why we stay awake to let others depend on us... really lovely poem:)

[Leslie Philibert]

Another example of a fine poem from a very young person : a good poem, with the original use of the line padded box,good writing.

[Perfect Mistake]

Being asleep is a peaceful bliss yet we must awaken from it sooner or later. Good poem

[Zöe Selemane-Kiang..]

this is actually amazing, it's such a different perspective on the story of sleeping beauty. I actually really really like this poem, and the repetition of "what a/such a cruel thing to do" emphasise that the voice likes/dislikes sleeping. I like.

(: