From Solitude to Loneliness

From Solitude to Loneliness

A Story by JENY
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A story written for participating in a contest

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Where is my Solitude?

He wanted to escape..

Escape from the four walled rooms. Just because he needed silence, silence to read and think. He hated the idea of roommates. How will it be possible to learn when there is no silence?  It is in the silence the veins recognize concepts that have literally no concrete evidence.

With the books tucked up in a bag, he climbed up the mountains in search of solitude. He sat under a tree. And saw there was enough solitude. Started reading mechanics-- a part of engineering syllabus students were excepted to cram up. Winds fluttered the pages and birds uttered some concept like things which were out of syllabus for him. He mastered all that was made exclusively for him.

When entered the room in the evening he was treated as a stranger for not joining them on the weekend trip.

 “I had to study” he said.

 “We also are students and your room mates too”.

 Tasting loneliness was bitter. He tried to merge it with solitude and tried to hide himself inside the books. But mind wanted something else.

Next weekend he climbed up the hill to embrace solitude. Wind seemed to be evading the book leaves and birds seem to behaving as roommates.  He tried to collect the missing pieces and fit everything into a coherent frame. However tried, somewhere missed something and learned concepts failed to yield meaningful solutions.

In the night roommates refused to share toothpaste. Nobody told him about the forthcoming inauguration of a new wing in the hostel which was announced when he was struggling with concepts and problems up in the hill. Thus solitude was replaced with loneliness. ..He tasted it painfully.

He tried to forget the hill, birds and winds. Friends helped him for it. They took him to movies, parks and exhorted him to watch porn clips and then a girl friend came and shared his loneliness. She made him forget about solitude. His fear of loneliness made him lose his solitude.

Results of examination announced, he was declared unqualified. What has gone wrong?

However he tried, he couldn’t create an iota of solitude inside him. It has been lost forever..

He left studies..

And dissolved himself in the pandemonium of successes and failures without getting qualified for anything in particular…

He fought with loneliness and emptiness on end..


© 2016 JENY



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Added on March 2, 2016
Last Updated on March 2, 2016
Tags: loneliness, solitude

Author

JENY
JENY

Kerala, Thrissur, India



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