MY FLUTE

Written for the contest..Poetry in Form

MY FLUTE

 

My lips are red

Your holes round dark

Songs red and dark..

 

I can bring lips

Close to songs, yours

In holes they dream.

 

My fingers can awake

Like lightening fluke anon..

Your walk from cakewalk

 

Your songs, my flute,

Will ever suit my

Life caught in solitude

                     

Your songs cascade down

From my clarion call

For union in love

 

My lips ever thirst

My fingers burst forth

For best from you

 

You a docile belle

Your songs, belly full

Ever dally in beauty

 

Never leave me alone

In this lone world

Where stolen songs thrive.

 

 

Never leave me alone.

In this stubborn world

Where molten arts weep.

  

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear JENY,

A very interesting poem. I loved the marriage of person and instrument. And this was a wonderful choice of instrument since the flute is such a calming instrument. It soothes the soul. But I was also struck by the discipline of the poem, with its "inner rhyme", with every line containing exactly four words, and the inner rhyming word moving backwards one word in each subsequent line of the stanza. A very interesting structure.

An excellent write.

Best regards,

Rick

[Raivenne]

I like the flow of this, I can almost hear the trilling woodwind notes rise and fall with this wonderful write.

I love the rhyme scheme here! What form is this -- or is it a nonce form?

[Livenrite]

An excellent write! Very enjoyable to read and I loved your choice of words! Thanks for sharing:)

[Yellow]

I enjoyed this literature like I enjoy playing my Flute.
I think the Flute is the most conforting instrument, to me anyway.
It relaxes me when im angry, and keeps me occupied.
The flute, if played right can be as beautiful as an open ocean with
white foam along the shore.

[Mark]

There is no denying the sensuality of the flute, both in the playing and the hearing. I can think of few, perhaps only the cello, than can so relax me, and in a subsequent phrase, so enflame me. Neither is there any denying that you have expressed that sensuality with delicious subtlety. Both the flute and the relationship which motivated this poem, can speak in radically different voices, depending only upon the gentility of the touch and breath applied; the instrument does not change. (Take that to your double-entendre bank, HAH!)

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Love the last verse.. Where molten arts weep.
Very beautiful poem and instrument.. the flute.

Chloe

[the_stoic]

whoa ! i don't have much of an idea about dancing and so couldn't understand certain terms .. the last 2 stanzas seemed good . i couldn't make the rest of it . sorry :(

[Huggy Bear]

Great imagery:) One of the best poems you have written:)

[James Watts]

This had a nice flow and some pretty good imagery. Nice write.

[Daniel Gardner]

Interesting. I like the way you italicized certain things. Good work.