Rowland

My brother is always the center of attention, even when he doesn't want it. This is my story of him.

I picked at my nails, barely listening to the couple giving their vows.

“Where is Rowland?” Mom hissed, looking around. I stifled a laugh and looked up at the altar.

“We are gathered here today, on this happy and joyous occasion, to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony.” The preacher faked a smile at the couple and then at the crowd. Preacher always freaked me out ever since Jamie Winder told me that they rape and kill animals. Even though I know it’s not true now, it still freaks me out.

“Maybe he died,” Val replied, sarcastically. Mom lightly smacked her arm and glared at her. I smiled and Mom turned her glare to me.

“Don’t talk like that about your brother,” Mom snarled, turning to Val. “And don’t encourage her,” Mom said, looking back at me. She pulled her phone out of her purse and checked the time.

“It is not to be entered into lightly, as marriage is a sincere and mutual commitment to love one another,” the preacher says, holding the bible like it was going to jump out of his hands.

“I’m going to kill him,” Mom whispered.

“How come you can kill him but we can’t wish his death?” Val asked and Mom sighed.

“I blame your father for your wittedness,” Mom exhaled.

Someone’s car was blaring loud music up the road and gradually approached us like the speed of lightning. We heard the car pull into the parking lot.

Disposable Teens came blaring next to the stained glass windows and continued right on by. The car circled around the church in the parking lot multiple times. Val and I were snickering at every curse that came out of Marilyn Manson’s mouth from the car stereo because the preacher would stop in midsentence with wide eyes. People in the church were looking around, some whose faces looked either astonished at the mere thought or completely pissed.

“God, please have mercy and not let that be my only son,” Mom whispered, looking up at the ceiling. Val’s face turned red from trying not to laugh. The almost-married bride looked enraged while the groom kept smiling and looking down at the floor.

Finally, the car outside found a parking spot, which made a loud banging sound accompanied with an audible, “F**k!” Tears were coming out of my eyes from not being able to laugh. Soon after, the doors to the church were thrown open and two men were heard outside the doors to the ceremony.

“I’m a groomsman!” Val slipped up on a laugh that echoed through the room. Mom’s eyes went wide and she swatted Val with her clutch purse. Val leaned over her legs to hide while she continued shaking from silently laughing. I tried to focus on anything else in the room, but was only able to hold it so long when the men grew louder and the doors to the room were thrown open.

Everyone in the room turned around except for my mother. Val couldn’t keep it in and was in hysterics. I was falling right behind her, turning around to look at my older brother.

“Oh my God,” Mom whispered repeatedly and held her head with her elbows in her lap.

Rowland stood at the entrance with two angry marines standing behind him. Rowland smiled. I could tell it was his nervous smile since he secretly never loved direct attention, but always knew how to get it. Val looked back at Rowland and continued laughing. Mom looked up at the ceiling.

“I’ll remember this when I get to heaven,” Mom whispered.

“Maybe you shouldn’t threaten God in a church,” I whispered to her at the same time Val opened her mouth to say, “I’ll remember this when I get to heaven so I can tell everyone about it.” Mom looked at her and glared.

“I’m a…groomsman,” Rowland said, looking around the room. The groom started laughing as well as the other groomsmen, but the bride and bridesmaids were far from laughing. The bride started crying, the groom tried to contain himself to support his future wife, the bridesmaids were all comforting her while she cried and were giving Rowland dirty looks. Rowland jogged up to the altar and looked at the bride.

“I don’t know why you’re crying. I could have made it a lot worse. Just ask my mother,” Rowland said, pointing directly at Mom. Her head snapped up, but when she looked at everyone staring at her, she quickly put her hands back on her reddening face.

Val quickly got up and left from bursting with short spasms of laughter. Mom didn’t stop her, but I could tell she wanted to kill us all and everyone in this church. I would have left too, but I decided I would much rather watch the show.

The bride practically leapt at Rowland, screaming and swatting her bouquet at him. The groom quit laughing and was trying to protect Rowland while the bridesmaids were pulling the crazed snowball back. The groomsmen were laughing hysterically and Val could be heard laughing from outside in the hallway.

 

 

“I can’t believe she hit me,” Rowland growled, pressing a bag of ice to his nose. He propped his feet on the coffee table, leaning comfortably back into the couch, and scrolled through the channels on our living room television.

“She’ll probably get a gun permit because of you,” Val said, snorted. She pulled out her iPhone and started playing a game. “I just wish I had recorded it.”

“Maybe they have it on Youtube or we could pay for a copy from the happily married couple,” I said, joining in on Rowland and Val’s chuckles.

“I want quiet,” Mom said, picking up her book on the table next to her. “I’m disappointed in all of you.”

“Oh, mom,” Rowland scoffed. “You should have prepared yourself for this. You knew marrying dad and having his offspring would be a bad idea from the start.” Mom gave him a murderous look that shut him up quickly. She didn’t even move her head; just her eyes.

“It’s alright mom. Elizabeth already sucker punched him in the nose,” I said. Rowland scowled. Mom held her pointer finger and pointed to each of us.

“Not another word,” Mom threatened. She was serious. We all got up and left one by one. Rowland was the last to leave and he caught up to me.

“You think I’ll ever get married?” Rowland asked, looking at the ground as he walked. I laughed a little and looked at him.

“You’re only twenty-two, Rowland. Of course you’ll get married,” I said, easily. “Why?”

“No reason. Except one of the brides-b*****s said that I’ll never get married,” Rowland said. Rowland wasn’t an emotional person, but he was very secretly touchy about remarks against him.

“Rowland, you will get married one day and have, god help us, kids like you,” I said, rolling my eyes. We walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door. There was nothing to eat. Rowland grabbed a glass from the cabinet and then put it back. He turned around and looked at me.

“You know what?” Rowland asked and walked past me and towards the front door.

“Where you going?” I asked. He turned around and looked at me, smiling. He opened the front door.

“I’ll be back.”

Those were his last words to me. 

Author's Note

Original Picture: DangerousK.net