The Silent Child

When your world is dark, surrender to your imagination to find some light.

I sit sadly
smiling safely
scared that its raining (inside)
I surrender to fairytale castles above the ominous clouds (outside)
gathering illusions, inventive words and illuminous colours to cloak myself in.
Submissively I spiral down the firemans pole
twisting all the way to the dark desolate ground.
I look up and see the rainbow rising
while letting the silence stain me again.
Beneath black shapeless puddles surround
I look down to mind them
forgetting to look up.

Reviews

[Aurora Lynn]

First of all I would like to say thank you for your review! Now for your poem.

The description confused me a little bit (ok, a lot) but the poem itself was wonderful! I liked the descriptive words that you used. The poem also flowed well from line to line, which is very good and makes for a pleasent read.

The only thing that I would suggest is the words inside the parenthesises. Is there any way that you can incorperate them into the poem itself, without the parenthesises? Or if that's not possible, you might want to include more of them so they don't look so out of place.

Other than that I thought you did a great job. Thank you for writing and welcome to the Cafe!
~Aurora