Please.

Writing this, tears stream down my face. Someone has just pushed the Reality Button.

I never asked you to be perfect.

Not once.

 

You act like we always get mad at you for the little stuff that we do,

But look at yourself.

You yelled at me, because there was a spot on the dishes.

You yelled at her, because she wasn’t doing anything.

We are tired. Walking around at school all day, five days a week.

What are you doing?

You stay at home. Work from home. You get to take breaks, rests, naps, and hey, you could eat whenever you want. But us? No.

 We have to spend our time at school.

She is in the sun all day for 8 hours trying just to get a sale so she could get money for what? For you. So YOU could get more rest. So she can pay the bills, so you can stop working.

 

You enforce things that you don’t even TRY to do.

After you lost your second job, did you try to find one?

No.

What do you do after you work?

Sit in front of the tv.

What do WE have to do when we get home?

Do our homework, wash the dishes, clean the house, just so YOU’RE happy.

Yeah, we don’t do anything during the weekend. We are resting one day, and preparing for the following week of school. You don’t have to look up to any administration. 

You just have to sit around, and wait for something to come up. 

Do you even try to better yourself? No.

You always say, “Oh, I’m not as smart as you guys are. Not even a high school diploma.”

You always say you want to go to night school or something and pick up on the learning.

You don’t make an effort do better yourself.

What do you do?

Wait for us to do something for you.

You always say you are doing these things to prepare us for when we move out of the house.

And those who did move?

You criticize them for not giving you money. Or not visiting enough.

You did exactly what you wanted them to do.

Go live their life, and leave you because you enforced it when we were younger.

Please. Stop.

 

You’re getting exactly what you want.

You have a house.

You have 4 wonderful daughters, all going to a GATE school.

You’ve had two that went to the crappiest middle school in the city.

Me being one of them.

What am I doing?

Trying to better my friends,

Trying to better the school.

I’m  one of the highest students in the whole 7^th grade.

I’ve got a 4.0.

You don’t seem to ever be satisfied with what we do.

Just be thankful that I’m not doing drugs, or getting into fights or even having sex.

I’ve been in each of those situations and turned each of them down.

I know better.

But, being where I am, I can immediately change that.

You put restrictions on us.

Never really seeming to trust us with anything.

______

Stay focused in school. Don’t think about boys.

What do you think I’m trying to do?

Never a pat on the back, never a condolence when sad.

______

You teach us to not gossip,

You teach us to blame others for mere mistakes.

You teach us that it’s OK to say something that to someone and not do it yourself.

You teach us by your actions.

So, by your standards, it’s ok to talk about other people behind their backs.

It’s ok to blame something on someone that had nothing to do with it.

It’s ok to say something and not follow through with it yourself.

 

Growing up,

I had always learned

To worry about what others think of me.

To blame other people for things.

To gossip behind someone’s back.

But I,

Without anyone else’s thought,

Do what I think is right.

Drugs? Never.

Alcohol? Not in my life.

Sex? Get the bloody hell away from me.

I don’t think you see that I can stand up for myself.

I don’t think you see that I can think.

I don’t think you can see that I know what’s right and what’s wrong.

You never ask,

“How was your day today?”

I’m always the one who says it first.

What do you respond with?

“Fine.”

‘Fine’ is a response to cover how you really feel.

You start talking during one of my stories I tell during school.

Respect towards you?

A must.

Respect towards me?

… It doesn’t seem like it.

Try to do the things that I do.

Solve Algebra problems.

Run a damn mile in less than 13 minutes.

Dissect a frog.

You act like it’s too late for you to do anything.

It’s not.

I never asked you to be perfect.

And I will never intend to do so.

Reviews

[Mark]

A very heartfelt expression of the heartbreak and frustration that are part and parcel of being young. I wish I could tell you that it gets easier as you age, but I can't. But your poem sings...I too had Father issues, but not that he was around too much, rather, that he wasn't around ENOUGH--Navy fighter pilot, deployed to Vietnam eight months of the year, and when he was home, for the most part we WISHED he wasn't!
Can you explain why the poem is repeated verbatim twice? Is that a device used purposely to indicate the unendingness, the cyclicity of your life, or was it merely an uploading glitch?

[PadfootBlack]

Holy Crap. You're my new favorite person. This was amazing. REALLY good. Wow... this is like... life for a 7th grader in a nutshell. Awesome write.

[ashley]

Sometimes writing out the frustration is cathartic. You did well with this poem. I'm not sure if you meant to, but the poem is posted twice, in case you didn't notice.
I liked this a lot and I recognized a younger me in the lines. I'm sure this is something most teens can relate to, as sad as that sounds. It's a fantastic write. Great job! :D