Let me

A Poem by sparrow2

just read

Let me love your soul,

Let me read your mind.

Let me touch your hair,

Let me feel your breath.

Let me dream about you,

Let me see you everywhere.

Let me consider everything is fine,

Let me feel I’m not mad.

Let me create my own world,

Let me think you live in it.

Let me write a letter,

Let me think you will respond.

Let me draw your lips,

Let me kiss them everyday.

Let me imagine you are alone,

Let me think we are together.

Thinking all of these ,I would rather be dead,

But you are so special ,you would blame yourself.

© 2016 sparrow2

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Reviews

H L Rose

Repetition is a powerful tool and gets emotion across in an almost emphatic way. I think if you are going for a strong, assertive approach then the repetition is perfect here. If you mean to be more gentle I may suggest simply taking out “Let me” in each line after the first line and perhaps keep the final “Let me” as well. But that of course is coming from a novice so I could totally be wrong.

The first line, “Let me love your soul,” is intimate and a strong first line and “read your mind” is a strong follow up.

The ending is significant and leaves the reading with impactful thoughts that stick.

I enjoyed the read!