For Now

For Now

A Poem by Sarah
"

My friend got sent away, add her to the list of friends saying goodbye

"

the will seasons fade,

melting together in one long spin.

whenever world stops turning,

failing to sustain human life

some how, i know i'll b here.

 

i hate to see friends leave

its like pulling the most intimate

pages in a journal out, and tossing them up

just to see where, they would settle.

 

the moon will light our way,

the sun will burn,

ground will grow, and die.

so why have i not cried?

 

dont go. but you have to.

i cant watch. i wont watch.

promise not to forget,

the time we did spend

together.

 

Hours pass.

days pass.

but time have separted us...

for now.


© 2010 Sarah



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Sorry I love your works i really do, hence why i'm reading so many of them. I must say that I love the overall theme of this piece but it does have a few tiny grammatical mistakes. I used to make them all the time, but when someone brought them to my attention i quickly learned the importance of proper grammar. First, the first line feels awkward, I think it should be "the seasons will change". secondly, you use just the letter b, instead of be in one line. Finally, i believe "but time have separted us..." should be "but time has separated us."
I must say i love your writings, and if you fix them up grammatically they will be absolutely beautiful. As it stands i love this poem, but if you clean it up it will flow much better, and have much more emotional impact.

Posted 7 Years Ago



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224 Views
1 Review
Added on March 16, 2010
Last Updated on March 16, 2010
Tags: friends, hope, life

Author

Sarah
Sarah

Lincoln, NE



About
HEY HEY HEY I'm Sarah. Whats up? Read my Stuff, or the evil bunnies will eat your soul, with spoons! more..

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A Poem by Sarah