Bad Friday

Mary asks the children to pop out on an adventure to Camp Crystal Lake where they meet a strange masked person named Jason... and all musical hell breaks loose.

Bad Friday

Camp Crystal Lake was one of Mary’s favourite holiday destinations. She was sure the Banks’ children would love it too so she packed her travelling carpetbag and called Jane and Michael out into the garden.

‘Do you feel like popping out on an adventure?’ she asked.

‘Yes, please!’ the children replied excitedly.

Mary held a piece of chalk with which she etched the outline of a doorway onto the wall of 17, Cherry Tree Lane. Through this magical gateway the Nanny and the children went and emerged to see the sun-glinted surface of an azure lake surrounded by chalets and cabins in which visitors stayed.

‘What a delightful destination!’ Jane exclaimed then she and Michael set off for a swim.

Meanwhile Mary unpacked in a nearby chalet. Later she set about preparing supper while the children dried and readied themselves for bed. It was while Mary was pouring the tea that a loud knock came to the door. She answered it and saw a man there. He was wearing a hockey mask and holding a large machete.

‘Why hello, young man- how can I help?’

‘……….’

‘Oh dear- has the cat got your tongue?’ Mary patronised.

The man in the mask raised the steel blade above his head while regarding Mary with cold, emotionless eyes.

‘Well that’s a very nice knife, I’m sure, but it’s hardly conducive to effective communication now is it?’

 A fog of confusion shrouded the eyes behind the mask and the caller stilled like a frozen artefact.

At that moment the children arrived into the kitchen.

‘Holy s**t- it’s Jason Voorhees!’ Michael declared fearfully.

‘Why hello, Jason,’ Mary said, glad to know the name of this strange visitor, ‘I see you’ve already met the children- were you also swimming in the lake?’

Jason’s eyes furrowed with hurt offence. Mary continued smiling pristinely.

‘It’s Jason from Friday the 13^th,’ Jane urged the Nanny, ‘I think you should close the door, quick!’

‘Stuff and nonsense- it would never do to be impolite!’ Mary answered Jane then to Jason she said, ‘would you like to join us for supper, dear?’

Jason retained his silence, still holding the machete in the air.

‘Jason doesn’t speak,’ Michael advised the too trusting woman, ‘and I don’t think he’ll want supper.’ 

‘We all must eat and we all must speak, I’m sure you’ll agree?’ Mary retorted.

Jason shook his head, ‘no’.

‘Well I can think of a word that is simply perfect for this situation and if you memorize it you will always have at least one word to call upon when there is nothing else to say. Would you like to hear it?’

Again Jason shook his head. The children agreed with him.

‘Please close the door, Mary,’ Michael begged- certain they were all about to die, but Mary continued, unperturbed by negativity.

‘The word is paraskevidekatriaphobia and it refers to the irrational fear of Friday the thirteenth!’

From out of nowhere, high-tempo music began to play and Mary burst into song!

“It’s-a-case-of-para-skevi-deka-tria-phobia

At the very sound of it you’re looking o’er your shoulder

You will scream and shout out loud as fear takes control of ya

It’s a case of paraskevidekatriaphobia!

Run, runarunaruna run runaway! Run, runarunaruna run runaway!”

At this point Jason joined in the singing; grasping his machete like a Broadway performer holding a cane while dancing about the kitchen.

“I sank and drowned in Crystal Lake when I was just a lad

Because the ones in charge of me ignored me while they shagged

Then one day I learned a word to help my movie prose

It was made into a franchise and this is how it goes- oh!”

     The children joined in with the adults during the next chorus and they sang a raucous quartet until the end of the musical score.

 “He chased the folk down by the lake, the ladies and the gents

Always in pursue-al no matter where they went

When teens on marijuana try to leave the scene and flee

Jason says this special word and starts a killing spree!

(Chorus)

 

 So when the fear has froze your tongue and you can’t get away

Remember that this special word has rendered you this way

So better listen carefully or it could end your life

Jason will be chasin’ with his hockey mask and knife!”

(Chorus)

 

     Following this unusual introduction Jason joined the children and Mary for supper. He said that the trio were welcome to visit Crystal Lake ‘anytime’.

 

The End

 

Author's Note

'Paraskevidekatriaphobia' is a real word which denotes the irrational fear of Friday the 13th. The word, when segmented fits the 'supercalifradgelisticexpialidatious' song from Mary Poppins- all this from the prompt '13' for an anthology. I'm pleased to say this was accepted and published.

If you smiled, it worked- if you laughed, I'm delighted :D