Forgive the Mirror

Forgive the Mirror

Now and then the mirror cries

Ashen shades engulf your eyes

and visions of fancied dreams arise

When did the pram turn walking stick

the candle run short of abundant wick

and prophecies give pause to limerick?

Hell I should know since I was there

yielded copious verve with the baby hair

and going bald early on isn’t that rare

Then I grasp what the heavens know

All the wounds there are to show

Legends deep, where not to go

Triumph, wisdom, laughter and stars

Painted gates and flames on cars

Worlds diverse and not like ours

A life to set your heart alight

Vibrant ladybugs sigh tonight

Fireflies render the darkness bright

Victories, elations and sorrows to keep

More deeds to be done before we sleep

Ignore the mirror if it wishes to weep

Reviews

[SwagMaster]

OVERALL: This is a very beautiful poem; it talks about feelings that everybody's experienced at one point in their life, scary feelings that can make people feel upset. Then you close by saying that it's only the mirror, and if the mirror wants to obsess on life's fears, then ignore it. You keep the length short enough so that people don't get bored and long enough to successfully convey the intended meanings. The lines you use are wonderful; 'When did the pram turn walking stick', 'The candle run short of abundant wick', etc. All in all, this is a fantastic piece.

MISTAKES: I wouldn't make it lime green color. It may hurt the eyes and gives it a childish, amusing quality which I don't think sticks to the meaning. The lines are a little close together, and there are a few spots that could use a comma or something ('engulf the eyes,' - 'Hell, I should know, since I was' - 'with the baby hair,' - 'and going bald early; isn't that rare?' - and others) The last line is especially small, smaller than the rest.

I am the creator and head of "The Perfect Review" group, and this is a free sample review! Go ahead and check us out!