I Love This Man

            “I don’t know if I can do this anymore…” I looked up. What did he just say? Did I hear that right? No, of course not. We were in this together, forever. He promised!

            “Do what? Love me?!” I stayed completely still. My lips barely even moved. Time had stopped for sure. It was only us, in this moment. No one else existed.

            “I don’t know if I can deal with all this hate anymore. My family can’t even look at me. They hate me. They hate you. They don’t want me to be this way, Pedro.”

            “I--you--we--they--you can’t! We’ve been tough together. That’s what keeps us going, Carlos. We’re strong. We’re stronger than any person out there. But without each other, we’re not strong. We’re just giving up like they’ve wanted us to the whole time.”

            “I—”

            “And what do you mean they don’t want you to be this way? They don’t want you to be gay? Well guess what, Carlos. You are. The rest of the world just isn’t ready for us yet, but they will be! If we stay strong and fight together, we can be happy and strong and get past all of them! We can do everything we always wanted to do! What about all our plans, our—” I was interrupted with a kiss. A kiss so passionate it could’ve knocked me over. In fact, it would have if I wasn’t against the wall. Before I knew it his tongue was all I could feel and our hearts were racing. Carlos never acted this way. He was protective and conservative. What was he doing?!

            I stopped for a moment, just long enough for Carlos to notice. “What?” He breathed. He searched my eyes for the answers, and there he found them. “I-I’m sorry about that. I just forgot what we stood for. I got caught up in everything the rest of the world said. I’m so sorry.”

            I couldn’t stop looking at him. He was beautiful. The rest of the world just didn’t understand. They didn’t even know what true love between the opposite sex was. How could they identify anything?

            “Say something,” Carlos said. My breathing still wasn’t even and my heart was still racing. If only everyone else could know how good this felt, this perfect moment.

            “I love you,” I said. Carlos froze. I had never said that to him before, but now seemed like a good time. And by the look in my eyes, he knew I meant it, and by the look in his, he felt it too.

            “I love you too.” He kissed me again and I was overwhelmed. It was silly, sure, being swept off your feet by love, but it was hard not to be with Carlos. He was everything I ever dreamed of. My own personal high I could never get enough of.

 

            The next morning, protestors and reporters were outside my front door, yelling about how wrong we were. Then they started chanting. “God hates you! God hates you!”

            Carlos didn’t need to hear this. He couldn’t hear this. No, no, no. This was not right!

            Carlos was still sleeping, so I got up quietly and opened the door. Big mistake. I heard a gun shot. I had never heard one before, but it was easy to identify. Then all of a sudden, I was in a massive amount of pain. The world was collapsing on top of my chest. The front door opened right behind where I had fallen. No gun shots were fired.

            An ambulance came sometime after that, I’m not sure when. It felt like a long time. All I could think about was losing Carlos and how happy we had been the night before. Why did I have to try to be the good guy? Why did I have to try to make them leave us alone? I could’ve gotten the police on the phone. But no, I had to protect Carlos myself.

 

            I was in the hospital when I woke up. It was a scary place, but Carlos was there with me, so the scary things weren’t too bad.

            A while later I was allowed to go home again. Carlos and I had to have a very serious discussion.

            “I can’t believe this happened to you, Pedro. All because of me,” Carlos said.

            “What? No! None of this happened because of you! Even without you, I would be gay. I just wouldn’t be happy.” I smiled at him.

            “Pedro, I’ve been thinking…do you believe in reincarnation?” My breath caught. What was he talking about?

            “Yes, I do. Why?”

            “Maybe if we died, at the exact same moment, we could come back and find our way into each other’s lives again, maybe a different way. Maybe one of us will be a girl and everything will work out the way the world wants it to.”

            “Carlos, that’s crazy. I mean, it could happen, but I’m not going to let you end your life for me.”

            “I have to, Pedro. Either way, I can’t live. So I will either day alone, or die with the man that I love. Don’t make this hard. Please.”

            “What did you have in mind?”

            Carlos got up and brought out two ropes, and motioned to the ceiling. I gasped. Two hooks were already in the ceiling, ready for the ropes to be on them.

            “Are you sure we can take this?” I asked.

            “We can take everything else.” He hung the ropes on the hooks and waited. There was already a place for a neck on each rope. It just needed to be tightened.

            Carlos and I stared at each other for a long time. It could’ve been hours. I got up slowly and moved toward the rope. I grabbed two chairs and set them under the ropes. I stood on one and put my head through the hole. I watched as Carlos did the same.

            “Are you ready?” I whispered.

            “Yes.” We tightened the ropes.

            “One, two, three.” We kicked the chairs over. There was no turning back now. But it was okay. It really wasn’t that bad. Carlos and I just watched each other the whole time until we floated into unconsciousness. I loved this man.    

Reviews

[Papercuts.Hate.You.Too]

WOW!!!This was amazing!!! It shows how hard it is for people to be different!!!!!!!!!!!!They say this is the land of fredom,yet innacent people are being killed and punished.It's not right!!
Luv,Leylia:)

[Lizzy]

I thought this piece was really well written. But the story was going to fast, perhaps a few flashbacks while he's hanging there...the day they met, first date, first kiss, did they get married?

And the next thing was about all the protesters. Unless they were sort of famous, it's hard to attract so much attention. Maybe Carlos' father, or someone they know.

Anyway, nice story. Very interesting. Gays and Lesbians certainly deserve more respect.

[.]

In the first part i liked the way Pedro was interrupted by Carlos' kiss ... this showed the love Carlos has for Pedro, and it did not take time for the latter to show his love back when he said 'I love you' .. The last lines of the first part is perfectly drawn to show the love between the two, and i loved it the most, as it is the feeling of loving and being loved - the security, the love, the protectiveness

""I love you," I said. Carlos froze. I had never said that to him before, but now seemed like a good time. And by the look in my eyes, he knew I meant it, and by the look in his, he felt it too.
"I love you too." He kissed me again and I was overwhelmed. It was silly, sure, being swept off your feet by love, but it was hard not to be with Carlos. He was everything I ever dreamed of. My own personal high I could never get enough of."

But continuing on to the second part, the romantic mood changes to fury. It's so sick to be that harsh and selfish towards gays...I would like to see how they react to their sons if they turn out to be gay as well!
This part was sad, imagining how Pedro and Carlos was so in love: "An ambulance came sometime after that, I'm not sure when. It felt like a long time. All I could think about was losing Carlos and how happy we had been the night before"
But again, the deed of Pedro was to protect his love, and this shows that indeed, the love between them two was an immense one

"Maybe if we died, at the exact same moment, we could come back and find our way into each other's lives again, maybe a different way. Maybe one of us will be a girl and everything will work out the way the world wants it to." --------- this is someone almost all gay couples think of .. and the society is to be blamed, as they do not wish to see guys holding hands or kissing in public .. greatly pointed out!

Suicide - that's so common among gays and indeed it is not their fault .. who would like to live in a world where they are rejected, and where no one understands them, and that they do not even have the freedom to voice out, or love the way they want...all they can do is live and love secretly .. all they have to do, alas, is live under a mask, pretending they are someone they are not, and that's really so sick and unfair

It's true that you should not care of what people say or think about you ... nor should you fear... loving someone of the same sex is not a wrong thing. Loving is a always a good thing and i never understood how people are against homosexuality. We are now living in a modern era but it is still considered a taboo. Just like straight people haven't chosen to be straight, gays or lesbians have not chosen to be so too .. so Respect! We are all humans, no matter the sex, color, race, etc ... We belong to the world, so every one is equal

I just wish that the world changes one day
A world where gays will have a right to breathe, to live and love they way they want
That's so selfish to live in a world where every one was supposed to be equal, but still, there are discrimination regarding sex orientation

You wrote a very perfect story of all the aspects that a gay may go through in his life

Applause for that

Greatly done!