The First Encounter

Janell's first encounter with Don Cheadle

Janell is running down the hall of Norton Brown High School, on her way to class. She stops by her own locker to get her books she will need for her first period class. She takes off her jacket and hangs it up on a hook. She then grabs her books, her notebook, and her folder she needs, slams the locker door shut with her foot, and runs to class. She trips over her shoe laces, and falls to the floor, with her books and papers scattered all over the place.

"Like a hand with that?" a deep voiced man says from behind her.

Janell looks up slowly, noticing two feet stading in front of her. She gradually gazed upward, looking
directly into his ice blue eyes. "I...uh...yeah." she says softly, in almost a whisper.

He kneels down, collects Janell's things, and hands them to her.

When they both stood up, he offers her a handshake, and says, "Don Cheadle."

"Janell Snyder," she responds as she grasps his hand.

They walk into the classroom together.

Janell takes a seat.

Don Cheadle writes his name on the black board. Then he introduces himself to the class. "You can call me Don. Although some teachers prefer to use titles before their names, I prefer to be a bit more contemporary. I will be teaching this course for the rest of the semester. Your regular teacher will be out for quite some time, in that I am told she is having surgery on her heart. A bypass.

At the end of class, Don Cheadle calls Janell over to his desk. "Janell, I noticed you don't enjoy participating in class discussion. May I ask why? As I staged at the beginning of the hour, I expect everyone to participate. It's one third of your grade."

"I just don't feel comfortable with it. But I'll try harder tomorrow." she responds, while holding her books close to her.

"Come and see me after school for some extra help. Together, we can motivate you into raising your hand more during class." He says, while gazing into her eyes intensely.

Author's Note

What do you think of the dialogue?

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I do not think the word "contemporary" is quite right but instead "I prefer to be less formal" or something to that effect. I really could not see this happening in a high school setting however, perhaps a college setting but even then...Teachers need to maintain a sense of authority in the classroom for the most part. The separation from the students by a title is no accident but rather an act of applied psychology. I also think that no male instructor would ask a female student (particularly a high school student) to stay after class by herself but might ask her parents to come in with her or ask another student to coach her in class participation. There are always students who feel uncomfortable with public speaking or asking questions and any good teacher knows this; teachers are required to study psychology, but, this being the first day of class, I doubt very seriously the teacher would have the grounds to single out a student on the first day for "special help". Perhaps after a few weeks but not on the first day of class, how much can one student in a class of forty be expected to contribute in one day, after all? Just my thoughts.

[ajasminewallflower]

Cliff hanger...Me likes alot. Will this story continue because if it is, let me know! I want to know what happens next! It sounds like the classic student having crush on new teacher.Congrats on your win for High School Episodes contest by the way

[Sammy]

I don't know. This left me cold - was it fanfic?

Nothing very interesting happened in it, and your style of prose was a little "this happened. This happened. This happened." without there being any flow to it.

The last line was ungrammatical: it should be COMMA he said.

[Frances O'Neill]

Good! There was not really a lot of dialogue to comment on.

[Alexia Gray]

The idea is good but perhaps the actual writing is a little unrealistic, the plot and relationship between the student and teacher could be more subtle but that might come with making it a longer piece. However, it's a promising start. :)

[Daiku Maryu]

Interesting. I admit I was somewhat creeped out by the teacher, but it may be just me. I don't know, he just seemed to be a bit too slick the way you presented him. The fact that he asked her to stay after class... Again, this might be different cultural experience--teachers in Poland don't ask you to stay after class, so I may be reading more to it then there is.

[Lyndie Bolt aka JustRac..]

This guy get any razing for having the same name as a black actor? Having taught high school, it would be pretty rare that an administration at a public school would allow the teacher to drop the normal formality of the "Mr. Cheadle." There were times when I really wanted to do this (4 years where my sister and I taught at the same school was confusing! We were identified as either the 'tall' one or the 'blonde' one) Fabian below is correct on the psych info.

His asking her so soon after meeting her to stay after class, has me wondering if he isn't a major CREEP??? Poor girl! Is there more?

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I like it, well played out... you could get the sense of her school girl crush on the teacher...

she responds, while holding her books close to her.

like this line, those subtle little gestures give you that feel for her uneasiness from infatuation.