Love?!

Hehe, sorry, just a bit of rhyming madness which came to me out of nowhere, and developed into... well, this.

 

A gentle kiss on fair lady’s lips

As I feel her skin ‘neath my fingertips,

The fabric of time now eternally rips

When within these feelings my heart trips.

 

Forgiven, forgotten, and never forlorn

In ravaging emotion I’m reborn

Gasping for breath from society’s scorn

For having my heart on my sleeve, worn.

 

Can you live?

Can you die?

Will you try

To survive?

 

Or will you be simply overtaken,

Taken advantage of and forsaken

For living the feelings that have awakened

And gave your heart a brutal shakin'?

Author's Note

Gotta love random thoughts what inspire poems like this.

Reviews

[FoolsGold23]

haha, random is as random does, I find. Rhyming aside, I like the sing-song type feel of this one, it rolls around on the mental tongue, and though the questions are probing, don't leave one with a sour taste because of their introspection. Great work, I was snagged at the beginning, from then following the progress to self examination. How you transition with such ease is remarkable to me, but then your poetry always is, haha. Great work!!

[O!]

THis was real good.....rhyming went real well......only i think 'shaking' should be written as 'shakin' ...goes better...

x,
O!

[An owl on the moon]

Brilliant and beautiful, John! Almost lyric in nature, could hear music playing as I read through it... Gripping and emotionally stunning...

Craig

[The Lady Anasteja]

Sadly beautiful!

[.::Cup^E^Cake*RaWr!*::.]

Amazing Piece!!
Rhyming isn't bad...sometimes it's overdone though wich I learned from some brutle reviews!! lol
You did great John!!
Kudos!!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I think its really cool, the rhyming makes for a great flow and the topic is done in a funny way though it talks of just how destructive love can be... you certainly have an awesome way with words.