The Ring

have you ever seen the movie proof? well, i'm gwenith paltrow's character except she does math and i write. -enjoy-

 

You’re not wearing the ring

He said

Why?

I’m afraid to

She bites her lip

And meets his gaze

Why?

Like a two year old

Right now it’s not real

It’s a warm towel after a winter shower

A Sunday afternoon nap

Its cigarette smoke

Bittersweet

Intangible

Hazy

Pungent

It’s all in my head

I can wake up and realize it was all a dream

I can pretend it never happened

Can think I never thought it

But once I tell people

It’s real

Concrete

A wooden bench

Metal bridges

Me

Real things happen

Real things end

Real things change

Hurt

Destroy

Become

I’m afraid

And right now?

The cigarette smoke dream

The figment of my over-active, twisted, distorted imagination

Is sweeter

Then the fall won’t but the ground will realization

That

I

DID

THIS

I want to stay in this backroom

Mirrors and smoke machines coma

Where I don’t have to deal with the consequences

Of my decisions

Of my words

Of my thoughts

That should stay in my head

Just out of reach of me

And the rest of this CandyLand world

But I can’t

So I wear the face of children lost in adult crowds

A league above where lies the forgotten ash

That produced the cigarette smoke

That was my basinet

So you ask why I don’t wear the ring?

It would kill me

Reviews

[Vivica Heart]

Amazing.
Simply amazing.
I'm speachless.

[Benjamin Seymour]

"A league above where lies the forgotten ash
That produced the cigarette smoke
That was my basinet
So you ask why I don�t wear the ring?
It would kill me"

An excellent flow that seems to sum up the gravity of the situation in which the main character finds herself.

[Erik Bergstrom]

I haven't seen the movie, but this poem almost makes me want to. I think the flow is excellent, and I can really see how you've grown as a poet in the short time I've been reading your stuff, although I don't know much about poetry and how it works at all. What you did here, though, works.

[Christopher Tait]

Not only did I see "Proof" the movie (which is great) but I also saw it as a play, and I think you capture the essence of not just the main character but of people (yourself and others here) who immerse themselves in their chosen art form. Very good work here, though:

"The figment of my over-active, twisted, distorted imagination
Is sweeter
Then the fall won�t but the ground will realization
That
I
DID
THIS"

I lost the rhythm here. Maybe a rewording is in order. Otherwise, very good.