Paralyzed

I wrote this poem in October 2011... yes, it's about a friend (who meant more to me than that) who's face was half-paralyzed for a while...

I spent the day wondering
What it would be like
To have half your face paralyzed.
No rhyme or reason to these things
But if it helps I prayed to God for you last night.

Hypocrite am I, useless to you in the end
Going nowhere and I call you friend
But it's no use, no it's no use
When I can't look you in the eye
And say (I wish I didn't have to say) goodbye.

You're paralyzed and I'm paralyzed
You did nothing wrong, just a pinched nerve
But I'm at a standstill, going nowhere
Waiting for someone I don't deserve.
It's my fault and you're just you.

Just can't make myself reach out
Frozen in a river of self-doubt
Can't break the ice.
You just smile the half-smile you can
And I don't even try, from the scene I ran.

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[Marie]

It's hard sometimes to deal with people who are handicapped in a way we don't understand. And we seem "paralysed"too...