Lyrical Catharsis

Is breathing necessary?
For I chose obsession to shut of my oxygen supply,
anticipating the certainty of death…
Do you see me bleed love from my veins, or are you blind?
Hell…even Leona can feel my pain.
You decapitated my kindness,
and now I am searching for a donor to make me brand new,
maybe then can I forget about you…

Why is everything so problematic, so dramatic and full of static?

All of sudden, I…your dream became “Jack The Ripper”

In a matter of a simple honest mistake.

You can’t breathe, you bleed and I caused pain,

How did all of this become my fault?

What I witness was a pampered princess who gave

Our union no room for growth or error

And after your self appointed court ruling you are leaving me?

What happen to…a single ROSE is all I would ever need to love?

Your single rose is not enough, I need a dozen.

Listen, I depended on you like a crutch but now you have expired,
Can I go on without your potent love?
Healing my soul, or are you hurting my mind?
A placebo, I deceived myself,
Running in circles but coming back to the start of it all.
If I only I knew the sound of love filling the halls,
would manifest to hate ripping the walls.
I bathe in memories…But I still feel unclean!

Remember it was a mistake! One little mistake!

Now I am made to be a national tragedy like

911, Hurricane Katrina or the death of the King of Pop?

How soon you forget that I supplied the love, the passion

And the influence that make you who you are today.

It was my love that refined you

It was my mind that defined you  

Try to remember my neck kisses, my poetry wishes

And let go of the relationship’s glitches.

How did our experience of love and lust become mud?

By the way babe, I’ve discovered that breathing is very necessary!

For you, but you took mine! 

You snatched my life.

The phone…My breathing…Are unnecessary to you.
My ears hearing a dial tone… A flat line…
Can I be revived?
For I am lost in the possibilities,
of the should have’s, could have’s, maybes,
Someone free me from this mind…
Tangled in the thought of you and I.
I lost my heart in your hands,
my soul in your eyes.
If you break open my shell you will see
a reflection of you,
but I know you will turn away, because you always do.

And I turn away,

towards my muse,

this lifeless pen that

becomes my source of purpose

as it glides across this page.

This lyrical catharsis can keep me alive.

You saw me; You fell for me, and just like

everyone else you lied…saying you wouldn’t try to change me.

We are supposed to be GOD’s reflection and direction of love.

A sea gull and a swan only share the same color

But not attitude, presence or life style.

Don’t end this…don’t end me…don’t end us!

This between us is too right to let a mistake destroy our chosen destiny.

Chosen destiny?

A silence has fallen over that dream.

Meanwhile, I want to scream so loud my vocal chords are numb
from the overflow I held so long inside.
But instead I choose words,
the subtlety embracing my pain, 
yet their intensity stinging

you with poisons that may
later leave you paralyzed.
Words rock me back and forth,
for your nurturing arms no longer heal.
Memories of you and I tear me apart
because we were once one…

We were once one, but now we are two.

…Heartbeat and spirit. I don’t feel my heart beating anymore

I share in the same pain you just expressed.

The poisons of your words has already caused the paralysis of our dream.

The ditch you silently dug

Was covered with a rug that I stepped right through.

In your eyes and your heart, I’m still falling in that hole…

…Never reaching the bottom.

As the dirt covers the light that once shined so

Brightly from the smile you constantly cast upon me.

Remember as you have chosen to vanish me from your mind, body and soul…

…That I will always love you!

And I will always love you…

but I love myself more.

These words I crafted have already mended wounds,

given me new life,

a new breath,

a new chance at love,

solace in goodbye.

And I have discovered

that this lyrical catharsis…

is what keeps me alive.