My Soul

A Poem by Susan 🦋

Just some thoughts..

A tender soul buried within

battling this original sin

that knows in time will overcome
removed from fear and not
succumb.

The essence below breathes alive
urges the body to survive
a singularity with God
Impervious to my
facade.

Encompassed faith with desire
teeters between constant fire
As purity is directed
a gentle spirit
reflected.

This mystery can't be explained
yet, a knowing to be sustained
undeniable living part
a loving master's work of
art.

Death cannot transfix me with fear
my Father holds me very near
Earthly body will always roam
Till the day my soul is called
home.

© 2016 Susan 🦋

My Review

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Reviews

Einstein Noodle

the title drew me in .. great pic to compliment ..the form is pleasing to my eye as each verse is a funnel of sorts .. i think your poem is inspiring .. keeping it real as we from the beginning of the fall have to strive between the good and bad ... light and dark .. truth and lies ... as i read .. each "funnel" picks up speed as it closes on to the following verse ..if i weren't so old i would say i was kind of rapping each last couple lines of the verses .. i like the rhyming scheme .. is it a form you made yourself? did you wing the contest?? ;) the Bible is full of verses proclaiming the obvious presence of an "invisible" God .. through Creation and Mystery .. and so we celebrate Faith .. happy to be blessed with "My Soul" today Susan ..
E.

Posted 4 Years Ago

4 Years Ago

OMGosh! you found this... Yikes...this needs some work. lol I am pleased you enjoyed this...yes, I d.. read more

4 Years Ago

new every day eh!? :)

Susan 🦋

Oh gosh, yes.. this is one of the first "poems" written. If, I got anything correct here, lol it was by mistake. There was a very patient lady at FS trying to teach me Iambics and syllable count. I do like the theme here very much and I should take another look at this one..Thank you for finding this one. You know, i think this was for a contest...good lord!

Posted 4 Years Ago

Richard🖌

Such a passionate dedication and adherence to one's deep beliefs in their faith should never go unheeded, Susan … surely, no good could ever come of it, eh?
Your picture choice speaks in powerful symbolism that time flies, so waste not a moment more in sin before being called home.
Beautifully spoken, Susan, with sincerest heart and gripping conviction.

Techy stuff: Excellently rendered in smooth, even-flowing 8-counts, except L2, L10, L11 trip with off-counts, and your final line's syntactic flow is a bit stilted -- compare the differences below:
"Till the day my soul is called
home."
"Until the day my soul's called
home."
I very much enjoyed how you've made the aabb, ccdd Quatrain less traditional by dropping the final word of each verse to a fifth line … shows creativity and willingness to vary from classic to contemporary form, by stretching your poetic individuality.

I see this was posted three years ago.
Good stuff, Lady-Poet … thank you for sharing! ⁓ Richard 🍃

Posted 4 Years Ago

4 Years Ago

Oh gosh, yes.. this is one of the first "poems" written. If, I got anything correct here, lol it was.. read more

Phill Oz O'fee

Now I lay me down to sleep... (etc)... How gracefully your words drift down the write - creating a reminder that our very being is due to a greater will force - in fact - a blessing to gives thanks for ... wonderfully penned piece ... :-)

Posted 6 Years Ago

6 Years Ago

Thanks Dear, this was written for a contest...to explain "A Soul"... bit a of challenge. These were .. read more

Tate Morgan

How many times have i questioned all I have been led to believe HMMM 1000s i think lol I know friends who need me here so Ill worry bout the end when it comes and eternity as well