The Presence of You

I can recognise your footsteps coming up the stairs

And hear your quiet humming by the door.

A smile appears, I say your name and go to see you there

And remember that you never are anymore.

 

At night I feel your breathing and your body next to mine

When its silent and there are no lights on.

Then I reach behind me so our hands can intertwine

And realise too late that you are gone.

 

Sometimes I unlock the door and call out your name

Just to let you know that I am home.

I wait a while and listen thinking you will do the same

My anticipation chills me to the bone.

 

At times of desperation, I sit and will you to return.

I feel you hiding through the fog and rain.

There are times I feel alone but I will have to learn,

I never am, for you run through my veins.

Reviews

[M]

It's a sweet and melancholic poem that leaves me with the emotional nostalgia I like to feel when I read poetry and stories.

The meter is a bit off in places that makes it jar a bit and the last line is kind of a cliche' compared to the authenticity I feel when read the rest of the poem. I think you could tighten up the stanzas a bit and get rid of some extra words to make it flow better. :D

[BlueJay]

It's a bittersweet feeling to know that you love someone, but they aren't physically there. So many emotions and yet you feel content here. Well written!

[Sabrina Fowl]

Brilliant. Loss is a wonderful topic, and the message of this poem brings tears to my eyes. Wonderful Idea.

[....]

I agree a sweet write here, Very nicely written. I enjoyed this

[Omega]

Great poem! It's very interesting and mysterious. Keep up the good work!!