All Natural

True story!

I really had the munchies
a taste for something crunchy
all the groceries in the pantry were a nope

They were sitting on the table
ingredients listed on the label
and my pot befuddled mind was filled with hope

It said it was pure oatmeal
no one'd mind if I steal
A tasty snack to sneak back to my room

I quickly tossed the wrapper
and chomped it like a raptor
didn't know that I was heading to my doom

It looked and tasted funny
with a touch of honey
Oh my god, I am such a dope

I turned lights on with my klapper
and took off to the crapper
what I though a cookie was a bar of soap!

I am swearing like a sailor
At my stupid failure
No punishment for that i have no doubt

my punishment was early
for a fit of words so surly
it seems I've had my dirty mouth washed out!

Damn you all natural beauty products!

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Nicely playful & realistically-stated scenario! What I like the most is the way you inject the typical pot munchies theme without having it sound like any other stoner verse I've ever heard. Originality is the best, especially when so relatable. Maybe today's all-natural beauty products are fairly edible?!?!?! *smile* Fondly, Margie

[emipoemi]

Oh my goodness, this is funny! You have a good rhythm and flow (which kind of get sloppy at Stanza 5....with easy fixes, though), and the story just says everything! Without needing to describe every single detail, which made it all the more hilarious by the reveal! I laughed the whole way through! Well done!