Footprints

an old man waked up to see footrints lading from his remote cabin.

The old man sat in the bay window sipping a steaming cup of tea. His mind wandered, as it did every year on this date, back to his wife. Oh, how he missed her sweet smile and radiant eyes that sparkled with humor and tenderness.

            The winter was hard on the old man. The doctors said years of plaque build up and tobacco had weakened the arteries there. He blamed years of loneliness and solitude for his weakened condition. He knew that his heart had been ripped away on the day he lost his wife.

            It had been years since he felt her touch and he cursed the forces that played out that horrible day. It was wintertime just as it was now. After a quick peck on the cheek she hurried off into the snowfall to gather a few missing items for that night’s stew. The last vision he had of her was her disappearing into the trees that hung low as they were weighted down with snow, her foot steps clearly marked into the soft white blanket on the ground.

            He never saw her again after that. They medics said her death came quickly and painlessly. The police officers said it was a freak accident. The trucker said he never even saw her, but the old man blamed God.

            He sighed as he looked out the window and blinked through the curtain of snow fall. He could almost still clearly see the trail of footsteps leading away from his cabin and through the surrounding forest just as he had that long ago morning. He squinted to look harder through the snow; his head bent so close to the glass, his breath fogging his view. He winced as he stood from the chair and shuffled to the front door, old age and the cold weather had beaten him down as the years had passed.

            As he stepped out onto the old wooden porch, the man scratched his long unkempt beard. He could still the footsteps in the snow. He could clearly see their indentions in the thick snow drift. One set of small footprints leading away from his cabin but none leading to it to show he had a visitor.

            The frosty December air whipped through the trees and made the man shiver as he stared out into the solitude around him. He had received no callers in the years since his wife’s passing. She was the reason they had came and without her bright smile he was all but forgotten by the rest of the world.

            His old and weakened heart drummed irregularly in his chest as he thought back to that day. He could almost hear his wife’s sweet voice drifting through the wind as she sang to herself as she always did on those treks away from home. The old man gasped as his heart jumped in his chest. He clutched his chest ad he braced his weight against the sagging porch post. The sweet song drifted to him again, louder this time and he looked up into the woods.

            Through the thick snowflakes that clung to his eye lashes he saw a figure dancing in his vision by the line of trees leaving his property. The flowing hair and sweet voice there made his heart beat harder in hiss chest and he coughed as his breath was caught in his throat. He knew then that his wife had returned.

            He also knew then that the doctors had been right. Whether from a broken heart or illness, he wasn’t going to survive another winter. His glorious soul mate had returned one last time to lead him from this earth. He steadied his shaking limbs and walked off of the porch and into the snow.

            His feet sunk heavily into the snow. As he disappeared into the trees besides his wife, two twin trails of foot prints followed them before disappearing into the cascading snow.

Reviews

[Aarontastic]

I've been a fan of your writing since reading the 'lynching tree', and overall I would say your prose is on par with your poetic skills, if not even better. I really liked this simple and heartwarming story. The narrative has good pacing even though it is so short, and although you didn't spend much time making a mystery out of who left the footprints, it concludes in a satisfying way.

Really loved this paragraph in particular:

"He never saw her again after that. They medics said her death came quickly and painlessly. The police officers said it was a freak accident. The trucker said he never even saw her, but the old man blamed God."

Very cool how you obliquely reveal more details about what happened.

I do have some criticism: although this story is pretty and romantic, it is marred somewhat by repetition in some paragraphs. For instance, in the paragraph that begins with "his old and weakened....", the word 'chest' is repeated frequently and it makes reading it kind of awkward, I think. More synonyms would have helped there, or different ways of describing the same thing.

Same thing in the final paragraph - you repeat "snow" at the beginning and end. It's just somewhat jarring running into the same word over and over again throughout the story. Does that make sense? It's kind of like when you're playing music and ending on a chord that doesn't sound final. I mean, you could just say 'feet sunk heavily into the ground' and then keep the ending the same, and it would sound better imo.

I guess I'm being nitpicky though, this is a good read. And I think if you kept the same general premise of this story, you could make it into a cool longer work.

[Marie]

This is very nice. Expected ending, but done beautifully.

[Tabitha t]

yes it wasnt supposed to be shocking. Just a nice story that relaxed me while I wrote it.

[Mirabella]

Beautiful story. I like how thorough your descriptions are.

xx

[Craig2591]

A bittersweet ending. Both happy and sad.

The sentence, "He could still the footsteps in the snow." seems to be missing something.

Well written. It makes you really feel sorry for the old man. I especially like the two sets of footprints leading away at the end.

[Tabitha t]

your right its missing the word see. I will fix that.

[Damien Davison]

I often think of when I grow old, and my current girlfriend, the mother of my child, dies before me... I loathe love for this. This story took me right in to the end of our lives, because we want to have a cabin in the rocky mountains at the end of it all... This actually really affected me emotionally, thanks a lot for sharing this!
It makes me want to not take anything for granted, which I again have been doing.
Amazing job here, honestly!

[Tabitha t]

Thanks!