Footprints in the sand

Footprints in the sand

A Poem by terry smith

footprints in the sand

How do you explain 
the ocean 
to someone 
who has not seen it 
for my love for you 
is as vast & deep 
& powerful 
as she 
others are but ships 
upon the waters 
but our love 
is as wild & untamed 
as the sea herself

© 2017 terry smith



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I really like this poem Terry and your extended metaphor comparing love with the power of the sea is great. The idea of explaining the concept of ocean to someone who hasn't seen it is very effective. There are a couple of minor things that I noticed. I'm not sure about personifying the ocean as a she - perhaps just replace she with 'the ocean'. Also I'm not too keen on using the & symbol for and - did you have a reason? I'm not suggesting you change anything and I know I often misread or misunderstand.
Regards,
Alan


Posted 2 Months Ago


Excellent choice using the seas wild power to express a true and deep love

Posted 2 Months Ago


i like the comparisons ...ships on the water and the water itself ..very smooth flow ..images pop into me noodle instantly ..have been to several of the oceans ..always overpowering as well as inspiring ... i enjoyed reading this fresh take on an old adage: "Footprints in the sand"
E.

Posted 4 Months Ago


Great piece. It has a kind of lilting singsong quality to it, and I like how the lack of punctuation forces the reader to find their own pauses and stops. Lots of fun to roll over in the mind.

Posted 11 Months Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

What a beautiful litany, Terry...and how wonderful it is to see you! I hope you've been well and continue to wish you the best!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Beautiful and powerful words for love and the sea.
"but our love
is as wild & untamed
as the sea herself"
The above lines. Perfect. I agree with your Terry. You must touch the sea to love her. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 1 Year Ago



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Added on January 21, 2017
Last Updated on January 21, 2017


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