The Great River

Many a day found me sitting by the Great River

Even in the winter's realm that brings a deep shiver

Pondering life's complexities, no answers in sight

But I found inspiration which prompted me to write

Warm months, life was everywhere acting out a story

I could script them villains or heroes in their glory

Under the bridge a riverboat, Calliope playing

Sunset glares off the water foretells the day dying

 

Loaded barges heading south gets my sole attention

Imagine ports of call too exotic to mention

Eagle above the muddy water in solo flight

Nature dictates it's life which allows it lofty heights

Jon boat with fishermen and nets, out for the days catch

The elder a rounder, the younger shy, quite a match

Debris from upstream, nature's busy cleaning the banks

Limbs and leaves I understand but garbage, someone's prank

 

Recalling my last visit before moving away

Forever in debt to the Great River to repay

Many a day I still think of my time by the Great River

Memories still strong, a peace at times it delivers

So now I'm writing this ode in humble gratitude

Of days and nights we spent together in solitude

To those I love I made to promise to deliver

My ashes to be placed by my friend the Great River

 

Reviews

[Gheeneil]

I like the mood of the poem. It's so relaxing and so calm. The Great River quenches the thirst, enlivens the soul. Afterall, it was the Great River which watered the Garden of Eden.

[just rose.]

I like the structure of the lines here -- reminds me a bit of G. Manley Hopkins. I think the half-rhyme in the last two lines of the first stanza is very effective -- one of the other things I like in this poem is that you're playing in an interesting way with point of view, you're writing about something you remember and talking about the writing of IN the poem, which makes a very intriguing narrative space, kind of like an echo across a lake, or a ripple across water. Nice work.

[Mark]

Mankind has always loved living by water, especially moving water. Reminds him of Power, of Time, of the inexorability of Change. We harness it for power, channel it for irrigation, fish it for food, frolic in it for sheer joy. But we also redirect it (opening the door to flooding), corral and overuse it (witness the death of the Rio Grande and Colorado!), and pollute it! So let us not forget the five or ten times a year that Great River grows impatient with men's affronts on his once unchallenged majesty, and reaches out of his banks and swats them off him with no thought more than we'd proffer a flock of gnats. Like Sam, though, I feel that a syllable or two, more or less, here or there, might add to this already-powerful poem's power.

[Samuel Dickens]

Some purists might complain about your non-adherence to meter, but it's not a problem for me. You tell a story and you tell it well. Who isn't awed by a mighty river's majesty, serenity and awesome power?

[Salvatore Buttaci]

Most poets who use the AABBCCDD, etc. rhyme pattern fail because the poems tends to get boring, but not you nor this poem of yours. Well done!

[Jon Sanders]

Great imagery, rhyme sets the pace and it is your best piece. I would like to read more like this.
jon

[S.S.P.]

excellent, clearly executed and well written :)